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我为喜剧狂(30 Rock)第7季第8集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on July 8, 2024 By taiciben_script_user No Comments on 我为喜剧狂(30 Rock)第7季第8集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计
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[00:01] * Married,Liz Lemon got married and made up this song * * 结婚了 Liz Lemon结婚了 还写了这首歌 *
[00:06] You got married? To what? 你结婚了 跟什么东西结婚了啊?
[00:08] To Criss,Frank. 跟Criss结婚了 Frank
[00:09] You are now looking at Ms. Elizabeth Lemon. I’m keeping my name. 站在你眼前的是Elizabeth Lemon女士 我保留了自己的姓氏
[00:13] What? The h-e-double vibrator is that thing on your left hand? 你左手上戴着那大号按摩棒是什么玩意?
[00:18] It’s my wedding ring. I got married yesterday. 这是我的婚戒 我昨天结婚了
[00:20] – How could you do this to me? – Flurb? – 你怎么可以这样对我啊? – 又在玩角色扮演吗?
[00:23] You just ruined my surprise wedding. 你毁了我的惊喜婚礼
[00:27] Paul,you can come down now. Paul 你可以下来了
[00:29] Thanks a lot,Liz. 万分感谢 Liz
[00:30] I guess I ate all that asparagus for nothing. 我看我那些芦笋是白吃了
[00:33] Reverend Gimp,we’ll just have to reschedule. Gimp神父 我们得重新定个日子了
[00:35] Where can I get the “C” train? 我上哪儿才能搭到轻轨啊?
[00:38] Well,if you don’t want this kind of thing happening,maybe don’t have a surprise wedding. 如果你想避免这种情况 你可以不办惊喜婚礼啊
[00:41] Alisters always have surprise weddings now,Liz. 如今一线明星都办惊喜婚礼 Liz
[00:44] Timberbiel,beyon-z,Anne hatha-nobody. 贾婷婷和贝尔 碧昂斯那对 安妮海瑟什么的
[00:48] And technically,I am an a-lister now because I was on a list to date Tom Cruise. 严格地说 我也是一线了 因为我在跟阿汤哥约会的名单上
[00:53] But I bailed before I got sucked in too deep,praise Xenu. 不过我及时脱身了 感谢Xenu (科学教中的星系联邦统治者)
[00:56] Well,I’m glad you’re happy for me. 我很开心你能为我感到高兴
[00:58] In case you didn’t hear it before,I got married yesterday. 以防你没听到 我昨天结婚了
[01:00] Yeah,thank you for inviting me. 对啊 感谢你邀请了我
[01:04] Congratulations,Liz. 恭喜啊 Liz
[01:05] It’s inspiring to see that a woman in her 30s can still find true love. 看到30多岁的女人仍能找到真爱 真是很励志啊
[01:08] – I’m 42,Cerie. – I don’t know what that is. – 我42了 Cerie – 我听不懂你的意思
[01:11] Just a reminder that your awards luncheon is today. 提醒一下 颁奖午宴是在今天哦
[01:13] – What? – You won an award. – 什么? – 你得了个奖
[01:16] “Congratulations on being named one of the 80 under 80, 恭喜您被提名为”80位80岁以下杰出女性之一”
[01:19] honoring women in entertainment who aren’t Betty White. “ 表彰娱乐圈Betty White之外的女性
[01:22] Oh,my goodness,the ceremony will be broadcast on lifetime… oh,.com. 噢 天哪 颁奖典礼会在 Lifetime…呃 点com播出
[01:27] garbagefile? 还是回收站文件页面?
[01:29] Okay,but still,I won an award! 好吧 至少我拿了个奖
[01:47] 30 ROCK Season 07 Episode 08
[01:53] Okay,big Liz Lemon day,so hold on tight. Liz Lemon的大日子 要淡定
[01:55] I’ve got a Jenna problem I need to run by you. Jenna有点情况 我需要你的意见
[01:57] Lemon,I’m sorry. I can’t help you. Lemon 很抱歉 我没法帮你
[01:59] Why not? Our dynamic doesn’t have to change just because I’m married. 为什么不行? 就算我结婚了 我俩的互动关系也不用变啊
[02:02] We can still have our classic girl Friday banter. 我们还是欢喜冤家啊
[02:05] “Now you listen here,Jack. This story’s not gonna write itself,see? “ “听着 Jack 故事是不会自动冒出来的”
[02:07] “Oh,stop,you brute. I love you. Operator? “ “够了 你个野蛮人 我爱你 接线员吗?”
[02:09] No,the problem is my mother’s in town for Christmas. 问题是我妈要来纽约过圣诞
[02:12] Already? It’s three weeks away. 已经来了吗? 还有三周才圣诞呢
[02:13] She insists on traveling on pearl Harbor day to,and I quote, 她非要在珍珠港日来(12月7日) 她是这么说的
[02:17] “show the emperor we’re not afraid. “ “要让天皇知道我们毫不畏惧”
[02:19] Look,I know she gets under your skin,but you should appreciate this time with her. She’s 87. 我知道她让你很恼火 但是你应该珍惜跟她一起过圣诞 她已经87了
[02:24] But that’s only 14 in demon years,Lemon. 按魔鬼年历算她才14 Lemon
[02:26] The woman’s constant disapproval of me will keep her alive forever. 那女人永远对我不满 这就是她活下去的动力
[02:31] A blue spruce. What time do the mariachis arrive? 蓝云杉 墨西哥卖唱团什么时候来啊?
[02:35] But this year I have a plan. 但是今年我有个计划
[02:37] I’m not going to give her anything to disapprove of, 我不会给她任何非难我的机会
[02:39] because as long as she’s in New York,I’m doing absolutely nothing. 因为只要她还在纽约 我就什么都不会干
[02:42] I got the idea from watching your president Obama the last four years. 观察奥巴马总统四年之后 我想出了这个法子
[02:48] That’s her,fishing. 是她的电话 要打探我的消息
[02:50] Notice the ring is shriller. 注意 铃声都更尖锐了
[02:53] Jack Donaghy’s office. Jack Donaghy的办公室
[02:54] No,Mrs. Donaghy. He’s not doing anything. He’s with Liz. 不 Donaghy夫人 他什么都没干 他跟Liz在一起
[02:58] Well,she’s wearing it pulled back,but it’s not working. 她头发是往后梳的 但是没啥用
[03:01] Exactly. Because of her ears. 没错 因为她的耳朵
[03:07] Merry Christmas,everyone. 圣诞快乐 各位
[03:12] Kenneth,why are you mopping the floor so angrily? Kenneth 你为什么要这么愤怒地拖地呢?
[03:14] You know exactly why,sir. 你完全知道原因 先生
[03:16] First miss Lemon fired my girlfriend,and now Hazel broke up with me. 先是Lemon小姐解雇了我的女朋友 现在Hazel跟我分手了
[03:21] Mr. Jordan,do you know why I love television so much? Jordan先生 你知道我为什么这么热爱电视行业吗?
[03:25] Because despite cell phones,iPads,and computers, 因为虽然有各种手机 iPad平板 和电脑
[03:28] it’s still the most effective portal for poltergeists? 电视机仍然是恶作剧鬼的最佳去处吗?
[03:30] On TV shows,nothing ever really changes. 电视节目里 什么都不会改变
[03:34] The people you care about never leave, 你在乎的人永远都不会离开
[03:36] and the bad guy always gets what she deserves. 坏人总会得到她应有的惩罚
[03:41] Someone’s looking lovely today. 某人今天看起来很漂亮啊
[03:44] What a burn. I could have meant someone else. 见鬼 我本不会这么说她的
[03:47] Although I didn’t. She’s radiant. 虽然我确实是说她 她真是春风满面啊
[03:57] Since I’m not getting married today,I might as well stuff my face. 鉴于我今天没法结婚了 我最好胡吃海喝一番
[04:01] Listen,Jenna,I didn’t mean to steal your thunder. 听着 Jenna 我不是故意要抢你的风头
[04:03] My whole life is thunder. 我一辈子都活得风头十足
[04:05] Sure. But,you know,I just found out that I won this women in entertainment award… 当然 但是我才知道我得了这个娱乐圈女性奖…
[04:09] First you get married. Now you’re winning an award? 先是结婚 然后你还得奖了
[04:12] These are my things. 这些该是我的
[04:13] Next you’ll tell me Mickey Rourke catapulted you into the Hollywood sign. 接着你就要告诉我 Mickey Rourke要把你在好莱坞捧红
[04:17] Look,I know you’re angry,but this award is kind of a big deal. 我知道你很生气 但这奖还蛮重要的
[04:21] You know,in the past,they’ve given it to Diane Sawyer and Elaine May, 你知道的 过去该奖颁给过 Diane Sawyer和Elaine May
[04:24] and did you know that Chuck Scarborough is anatomically a woman? 你知道吗 Chuck Scarborough 在生理上其实是女人?
[04:27] So I am a lesbian. 那我就是个拉拉
[04:28] And I’d really love for you to be there. 我真心希望你能去
[04:30] Did you know it’s been 15 years since we first met? 知道吗 我们已相识十五年了
[04:34] Salutations,Jenna Maroney. 你好啊 Jenna Maroney
[04:36] What brings a mummer to lightsman’s row? 什么风把哑剧演员吹到灯光师这呢?
[04:38] I just wanted to meet the woman that’s been lighting me so awesomely onstage. 我就想来见见 让我在舞台大放异彩的女人
[04:42] Do you have any idea where she is,little boy? 你知道她在哪吗 小朋友?
[04:45] And I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for you, 要不是你 我哪有今天
[04:47] so when I accept that award on lifetime.com garbagefile, 所以当我领取lifetime网站颁的奖
[04:51] I want you onstage with me. 我要你和我一起站在舞台上
[04:53] – So there’ll be cameras? – Yes. – 到时候会有摄像机咯? – 是的
[04:56] Oh,Liz,you had me at “Hayden Panettiere is dead. “ 哦 Liz 我们从”Hayden Panettiere已死”一片就认识了
[04:59] Of course I’ll be there. 当然啦 我肯定去
[05:01] Oh,thank you,Jenna. That really means a lot to me. 谢谢你 Jenna 这真的对我很重要
[05:07] * Secret plan revenge on my mind * *复仇计划已悄悄酝酿在我脑海*
[05:13] Hey,I’m going downstairs to get a coffee.You want anything? 我要下楼买咖啡 要带什么吗
[05:14] – Pumpkin spice,please. – Great. – 南瓜咖啡 谢谢 – 好咧
[05:17] * Secret plan * * 悄悄酝酿 *
[05:25] Excuse me.I don’t mean to bother you, 不好意思 无意打扰
[05:27] but I’m a nymphomaniac virgin widow, 我是个色情狂兼未破处的寡妇
[05:29] and I just completed my year of mourning, 我的守丧期刚结束
[05:31] and I’ve got a hotel room and a latex allergy, 我刚开了房并且乳胶过敏
[05:33] and,well,I was just wondering what you were doing for the next 12 to 14 hours. 我就想问问 你接下来的12到14小时内有事吗
[05:37] I’m doing nothing. Let’s go before my mother… 没什么事啊 我们走吧 趁我娘亲…
[05:42] Nice try,mother. 真有你的 我的娘亲
[05:44] Yes,you sensed I was doing something you would disapprove of. 你感觉到了我刚在做你反对的事
[05:47] Your powers remain strong,old one,but there’s nothing you can say to ruin this. 你果然还是很强大 老东西 不过这次你阻止不了
[05:51] I see a spot in front of my left eye. 我左眼前有个小点
[05:53] If this turns out to be a stroke,you’re in charge of plucking my chin. 如果这演变成中风 你就得负责帮我刮胡子
[05:58] You better come home,Jackie. 你最好回来 Jackie
[06:00] I have a few things I want to say to you before I meet the grim reaper, 死神来之前 我有些话对你说
[06:05] who is black,I assume,what with the hoodies he wears. 我猜死神是黑人 和他穿的风帽衣一个色
[06:08] That’s quite all right. 那好
[06:09] I’ve heard your last words before. 之前我听过你的遗言
[06:10] For instance,in junior high,when you faked a heart attack to keep me from going camping. 比如我初中时 为了不让我去野营 你就装心脏病
[06:14] I didn’t trust that scoutmaster. 因为我不信任那个童子军领队
[06:16] He was always wearing shorts. 他总是穿短裤
[06:18] In fact,I think I have your dying speech memorized. 事实上 我还知道你的垂死语录
[06:21] “How could you do this to me? “ “你怎么能如此对我?”
[06:23] You’re such a huge disappointment. “你真是让我失望透顶”
[06:25] “If only Dragnet hadn’t been preempted because of Sputnik, “倘若法网 没有被停播
[06:28] you never would have been conceived.” 我都不会怀上你”
[06:29] Please,Jackie,just come home! 求你了 Jackie 回来一趟吧
[06:32] I’m dizzy,Jack. 我晕了 Jack
[06:35] Wonderful sound effects,mother. 声效做得不错啊 娘亲
[06:37] Mother? Mother? 娘亲? 娘亲?
[06:42] You left crumbs on the floor so that the mice spelled,”come see me”? 你把面包屑掉地上 是为了让老鼠拼写出”来见我”?
[06:45] Yes,Kenneth,I’ve been thinking about what you said about wishing life could be like TV. 是的 Kenneth 我在想你说的话 希望自己生活能如戏般精彩
[06:50] That would be great, 那会很棒
[06:51] although I’d get rid of those ads that pop up in the middle of your favorite TV shows. 除了那些在你看心爱电视剧时 半途弹出来的广告
[06:55] Well,why don’t you discuss it with special guest star Florence Henderson? 为什么你不和特邀客串 Florence Henderson 说呢 演员兼歌手 曾主持过一档烹饪节目 其最著名角色为Carol Brady
[07:01] Mrs. Brady! Brady女士
[07:04] I told the black guy here,none of that Brady stuff. 我告诉过这个黑小伙 别再称呼Brady了
[07:06] Now let’s get this over with. Which booking is this? 现在开始干活吧 这次是什么表演?
[07:09] Are you the perverts who want to go to town on each other while I make a pie? 我做馅饼时 你们俩想云雨一番嘛吗?
[07:20] Welcome,ladies. Welcome. I’m Bonnie badamath. 女士们 欢迎你们的到来 我是Bonnie Badamath
[07:23] I’m the chairperson for today’s event. 我是今天活动的主席
[07:25] I can’t shake hands because I have carpal tunnel syndrome 我不能和你们握手 因为Gary走了
[07:28] from zipping up my own dress now that Gary’s gone. 我只能自己拉衣服拉链 得了腕管综合症
[07:31] Well,I’m very happy to be here. 我很高兴能来
[07:32] Well,I’m just so glad that you found the place, 你们能找对地方 我很欣慰
[07:34] what with my directions,Because Gary was the navigator. Thank you. 我方向感不好 Gary本来一直是我的向导 谢谢了
[07:42] This is exciting. 好激动啊
[07:44] Oh,look,you’re in the program. 看呐 你名字在节目单里
[07:46] Ah,great,they must have gotten this picture off the Internet. 很好啊 他们肯定网上找的照片
[07:48] *****
[07:48] Why does the other Liz Lemon always come up first? 为何其他结果总是先搜出来呢?
[07:51] Who cares? They’re honoring you. 谁在乎呢 他们以你为荣呢
[07:53] Now you go find our table. I’m gonna run to the bathroom. 找我们的位子去 我去一下洗手间
[07:55] – Ooh,I have to go too. – Wait for me. – 我也去 – 等等我
[07:58] I just went,but I guess I could go again. 我刚去过 不过再去一次也无妨
[08:04] What the what? 搞啥搞?
[08:07] Oh,my God,she’s gonna do her wedding just to ruin my thing? 偶滴神 她为了毁我打算在这儿结婚?
[08:12] My best friend. 真不愧是好闺蜜呀
[08:14] Best friend troubles,talking to yourself,I’ve been there. 为闺蜜之间的闹心事儿自言自语哈? 我也有过啊
[08:17] And you know why Jenna’s mad at me? Because I got married. 你知道Jenna为嘛生我气么? 就因为我结婚了
[08:21] You know what my best friend did for my 50th birthday? 你知道我闺蜜在我五十大寿时 对我做了什么吗?
[08:23] She gives everybody a car,and then she’s all, 她给每个人送了辆车 然后到处 闹腾说
[08:27] “thank you for coming to Gayle’s birthday! “ “多谢大家能来给Gayle过寿”
[08:29] The crazy thing is I always end up apologizing to her 最抓狂的是 每次到最后都是我 给她道歉
[08:32] ’cause her feelings are so much more important than mine. 因为我的感受跟她的比起来 什么都不是
[08:35] Oh,I hear you.When I got bangs, 我太理解你的感受了 那次我把 我刘海儿剪短了
[08:37] my best friend didn’t even acknowledge them,so I was gonna grow them out. 我那闺蜜压根儿就没注意到 所 以我只能让它们长长了算了
[08:41] Then after reading an article in my best friend’s magazine, 然后我在她办的杂志里读到一篇文章
[08:44] I realized my feelings are valid, 我才意识到其实我的感受也很重要
[08:45] so I had to say to her,”my bangs,”they’re not about you. 所以我才跟她说 “这是我的刘海
[08:49] It’s about me trying to cover my forehead. “ 是我试着去盖住我的天门盖 不是事事都要绕着你转的”
[08:51] Exactly. Thank you. 就是嘛 理解万岁
[08:54] – We’re talking about Oprah,right? – No,of course not. – 我们是在说Oprah嘛? – 显然不是啊
[08:57] She can hear us. 什么事儿都能钻进她耳朵的
[09:04] Well,this is certainly high drama. 您老还真是影帝呢
[09:06] These are the clothes that I want to be buried in. 我死后下葬的时候要穿着这些衣服
[09:09] And make sure I’m holding this. 别忘了我手里还得拿着这个
[09:11] Glue this pin to the inside of the coffin lid. 把这头粘到棺材板儿上
[09:15] – For grave robbers. – For grave robbers? – 以防有人盗墓 – 盗你墓?
[09:17] I remember the first time you ever threatened me with your death. 我都还记得你第一次以死来要挟 我的时候
[09:20] You should be more appreciative. 你应该感恩戴德才对
[09:21] I went down to a pack a day for you. 老娘为你一天就抽一包烟了
[09:23] One day,you’re gonna turn around,and I’ll be dead like that. 会有那么一天 当你转过身来发现 “啪”的一下我就已经死翘翘了
[09:26] All right. You can knock it off now,mother. I’m home. 好了 老妈你表闹了 我回家去了
[09:29] What happened to your eye? Did you really fall? 你眼睛是咋了? 你还真摔了一跤?
[09:32] I was watching TV, 我刚才看到电视上
[09:34] and they started interviewing an Asian Santa claus,and my arm went numb. 他们在采访一个亚裔圣诞老人 接着我胳膊就麻了
[09:40] And you called me? Mother,call an ambulance. 那你干嘛不叫救护车 给我打神马电话
[09:42] My father did not kill dozens of Germans so that his daughter could die in a van. 我爸爸那时杀那么些德国佬可不 是为了让她的女儿死在一辆货车里
[09:48] But he wasn’t even in the war. 但他压根儿就没参过战呀
[09:50] Go about your day,Jack. 你去忙你的吧 Jack
[09:52] Just leave the door open and let the elements take me. 把门开着 让我自生自灭吧
[09:55] You’re going to the hospital,and I don’t care how I have to get you there. 我才不管怎样 你得去医院
[09:58] Well,I’m not going in an ambulance. 随你 反正我不坐救护车
[10:01] I’ll take a horse-drawn carriage. 不过马车倒是可以
[10:03] Those carriages are rolling torture wagons for nature’s most dignified creature. 可那玩意儿完全就是折磨这星球 上最高贵的生物的刑具呀
[10:08] The horse is one of only three appropriate subjects for a painting, 马可是唯一适合在画里出现的 三物件之一呀
[10:12] along with ships with sails and men holding up swords while staring off into the distance. 其他两样是船只和男人举剑远眺
[10:18] Sure,let’s argue about horses now. 是嘛 又想和我争论马了是嘛
[10:20] Bring down my things. 把我的东西提下去
[10:21] I’m going out of this world exactly the way I came into it,wearing a hat. 我离开这世界的样子要跟我来 的时候一样 戴着帽子
[10:32] There you are,K through 12. 你在这儿呀 读过书的
[10:34] Are you the same guy as before? 你还是刚才那个人嘛?
[10:35] Or does that sun-bleached turd have a twin brother? 还是那个泛白小鬼的双胞胎兄弟?
[10:38] Same guy,ma’am. 还是那个人 女士
[10:42] Looks like we’re stuck in a elevator. 看起来我们被困在电梯里了
[10:44] I guess we’ll have to remember stuff and learn from each other,just like on TV. 貌似我们得开始像电视上播的那样 回忆人生和互相了解了
[10:48] Wait,you did this on purpose? 等下 电梯是你搞坏的?
[10:50] Are you sure you know what you’re doing? 你到底会不会呀?
[10:52] Apex technical school puts students first. 阿佩克思技术学校总是以学生为本
[10:54] And the perfect time to enroll is now. 趁现在赶快报名哟
[10:56] Wait,we’re stuck? Get us down. 等下 我们被困住了? 快让我们下去
[10:59] I don’t have my flask. 我没带酒出来啊
[11:01] I’m freaking out. This was a bad idea. 我好怕怕 这是一个馊点子
[11:03] Is this alcohol-based? 这里面含酒精吧?
[11:05] Why are you doing this to me,Jacob? 雅各布你干嘛要酱紫对我!
[11:11] So our next honoree Liz Lemon is the head writer of TGS with Tracy Jordan, 下一位获奖者是有Tracy Jordan参演的TGS秀 的首席编剧 Liz Lemon
[11:16] and I am told she got married yesterday, 而且我被告知她于昨天结婚了
[11:18] just like Gary and that bitch who was selling us our dream house. 就像Gary和那个卖我们梦之屋的骚货一样
[11:24] So let’s take a look at Liz’s work. 那么我们先来看看Liz的作品吧
[11:29] Hang on. This is being weird. 等下 有点小问题
[11:31] – Blow on the disk. – Is it on the right component? – 吹吹嘛 – 你确定你频道对了?
[11:33] Try unplugging it and plugging it back in. 试试把线拔了再插进去
[11:35] Just open the disk part and blow on it. 把壳子打开吹吹气试试嘛
[11:41] Looking for this? 在找这个嘛?
[11:43] You ruined my wedding. It’s payback time. 你毁了我的婚礼 该我复仇了
[11:46] Jenna,what I did was an accident, Jenna 那只是碰巧而已
[11:47] but you’re trying to sabotage me just because I’m getting an award? 可我得个奖 你就要整我?
[11:51] You know you don’t deserve it. 你明知自己不配
[11:53] Without me,you’d still be behind that light board in Chicago, 没有我 你还在芝加哥当灯光师呢
[11:55] turning bags of sour patch kids inside out to lick them clean. 把酸甜软糖的袋子舔得干干净净
[11:58] I got my money’s worth. 我赚钱心安理得
[12:00] And without me you’d still be doing local commercials for store-brand douches. 没有我 你还在给地摊货做广告呢
[12:03] Well,joke’s on you,because that wasn’t a commercial. 你还好意思说我 那根本不是广告
[12:06] I don’t know what that was. 我不知道那是啥
[12:08] I swear to God,you are the most selfish human being on the planet. 我对天发誓 你是全球最自私的人
[12:11] Thank you. Visit my website for extras and ringtones. 谢谢 如需其他信息或铃声 请浏览我的个人网站
[12:13] Only because I’ve let you be. It stops tonight. 我之前太纵容你了 今晚到此为止
[12:16] You can’t stop me from getting on that stage. 你阻止不了我上台
[12:18] Are you sure? 你确定吗?
[12:19] ‘Cause guess what this lighting board nerd did? 猜猜本灯光技术宅干过什么?
[12:22] So what can I do for a fellow lightsmith? 同行灯光师需要什么帮助?
[12:25] I want you to come up 20% on 16,32,and 70. 16 32 70号灯调亮20%
[12:29] – No,but that would… – Just do it! – 不行 这样会… – 照做便是
[12:32] Well,this stage is now lit for grocery store milk aisle. 现在这舞台亮的惨白惨白的
[12:36] I can’t get up there. I’ll look… 我不能上去 我这样子…
[12:38] Horrible. Yeah. 惨不忍睹 嗯没错
[12:40] Oh,no. Did I ruin your wedding again? 哎哟 我又一次毁了你的婚礼吗?
[12:45] Also you need to tell your Aunt Mary, 你还得告诉Mary姨妈
[12:49] when she was two,there was an accident with a hot comb. 她两岁时出了事 因为一把滚烫的梳子
[12:52] Well,she used to be a boy. 她以前是男孩
[12:54] Stop talking,mother. Save your strength for yelling at doctors. 妈 别说了 留点儿力气跟医生吼去
[12:57] There’s a couple of other things I want you to know,Jack. 还有些事情要告诉你 Jack
[13:00] And I don’t want you to interrupt me until I’m done. 我没说完 不许打断我
[13:04] All I want is for you to be happy. 我只想让你幸福
[13:07] – Happy? – Yes. – 幸福? – 是的
[13:09] Since when did you ever care about happiness? 你什么时候关心起幸福来了
[13:11] Don’t talk to me like that,Jack. 别这么跟我说话 Jack
[13:14] I breast-fed you for nine years! 我用母乳喂养了你九年
[13:17] Those are terrible last words. 这遗言太蹩脚了
[13:19] The closest you ever get to happiness is when you’re criticizing something, 你只有吐槽的时候才会幸福
[13:23] preferably something I’ve done. 最好是吐槽我的所作所为
[13:25] Jack,stop talking. I am not going to be around forever. Jack 别说了 我终究会离世
[13:31] Oh,here it comes. 又来了
[13:32] One of these days,you’re gonna turn around,Jack, 终有一天 当你转身
[13:36] and I’m gonna be gone…Just like that. 我已离去 就如这般
[13:38] When this little performance is over,I may put you in a home just like that. 你这苦情戏演完了 我就把你送养老院去 就如这般
[13:46] Mother… 妈
[13:53] Mother? 妈?
[13:55] I can’t get it to work,and there’s still 78 women to go, 我实在开不了机 还要褒奖78名女性啊
[13:58] so whatever,Liz Lemon. 无所谓了 Liz Lemon
[14:19] No,you don’t ruin my thing. I ruin your thing. 你不能毁了我的东西 我要毁了你的
[14:22] You are not the center of the universe,Jenna. 你不是宇宙中心 Jenna
[14:24] I am too. I’m the moon. 我就是 我是月亮
[14:26] Ladies,please,today we’re celebrating women… 女士们 今天我们来庆贺女性…
[14:29] Can it,Bonnie. I can’t believe you’re doing this to me. And Paul. 不行 Bonnie 你竟然这么对我 还有Paul
[14:33] He’s been in that steamer trunk for hours. 他在扁皮箱里呆了数小时
[14:35] It’s all right. The lack of oxygen is making me orgasm. 没事的 缺氧让我高潮了
[14:40] Why can’t you ever be happy for me,ever? 你怎么就不能为我高兴一次呢?
[14:43] I got married,and you don’t care. 我结婚 你漠不关心
[14:45] Why should she? We shouldn’t be defining ourselves by our men. 她为什么要关心 不应让男人定义我们存在的意义
[14:48] Oh,so in order to be independent,we have to be asexual? 那么为了独立 我们要变成性冷淡
[14:51] You would know,Judy. 这滋味你清楚吧 Judy
[14:53] God,I miss Gary so much! 我想死Gary了
[14:55] I put his sweater on a body pillow! 我给人形枕头穿上他的毛衣
[14:59] I took it for a canoe ride! 还带着它去划船
[15:04] Lightsmith,help me out. Fire up the lekos and the klieg. 灯光师 帮帮我 强光亮起来
[15:14] Don’t look at me. Don’t look at me. Don’t look at me! 别看我 别看我
[15:22] Jack,I got your text,but I think there was some autocorrect problems. Jack 我收到你的短信 但好像自动更正出了问题
[15:25] Colleen had a fart attack? Colleen屁屁病发作了?
[15:26] – She died,Liz. – Oh,my God. – 她去世了 Liz – 天呐
[15:29] She had a heart attack and died on the way here. 她心脏病发作 送来医院的途中去世了
[15:32] Oh,Jack,I am so sorry. Jack 请节哀
[15:36] Before she died,Colleen told me she just wants me to be happy. 临终前 Colleen说只想让我幸福
[15:40] Really?’Cause that doesn’t sound like her, 真的吗? 听着不像她呢
[15:41] but I guess people do say strange things at the end. 我猜人死前总会说些奇怪的话吧
[15:44] You know,my grandmother said,”Liz,stop playing with the flesh around my elbow.” 我祖母临终前说 别玩我胳膊上的肉了
[15:47] “I just want you to be happy. “ 我只想让你幸福
[15:49] You know who you say that to? A loser. 知道这话是说给谁听的吗? 窝囊废
[15:51] Someone who can’t hope for anything more in life than just being happy. 除了幸福 别无所求
[15:55] You say that to someone who has disappointed you. 这话只会对令你失望透顶的人说
[15:58] – Jack. – No. It’s perfect. – 不 这圆满了
[16:01] She’s a genius. One last twist of the knife. 她真是个天才 伤口上撒最后一把盐
[16:05] Well,thank you for coming,Lemon,but I better get going. Lemon 谢谢你能来 我还是赶紧走吧
[16:09] The funeral is tomorrow. 葬礼定在明天
[16:10] Colleen wanted to be buried before the rest of the family found out Colleen想在家里其他人知道前下葬
[16:13] and sold her body to a haunted house. 以免遗体被卖到鬼屋去
[16:15] And,of course,I get to eulogize Colleen at the service. 当然了 我得在葬礼上好好盛赞她一下
[16:18] One more chance to disappoint her as she looks up at me from her throne… In hell. 让她在地狱的宝座上往上看时 再表达一次对我的失望之情吧
[16:31] Jenna…
[16:33] Jenna. I mean,Liz. Jenna 我是说Liz
[16:34] Look,life’s too short to be fighting with your best friend. 人生苦短 知己相煎何太急
[16:37] I know. 对啊
[16:39] Can I be real with you,Liz? 我能跟你说实话吗 Liz?
[16:41] All these years I’ve always been able to look at you and feel better about myself. 这么多年 我一直在自己困难的时候看看你 这样能觉得好受点
[16:45] – Sure. – Don’t interrupt. – 没错 – 别插嘴
[16:46] The pill that lets me feel emotion is gonna wear off soon. 那种能让我有人情味的药马上到点儿要失效了
[16:49] Watching you struggle at work,dating losers,wearing boys’ husky jeans… 看你被工作折磨 和矮穷挫约会 穿假小子牛仔裤…
[16:53] They have reinforced crutches. 那种裤子裆部是加厚的
[16:54] Now you’re winning awards,you’re not aging the way I wanted you to, 但是你现在开始得奖 老得也没有我期望的那么快
[16:58] and you’re married to a guy that I think about during sex. 还和一个我在床上都会有幻想的男人结婚了
[17:01] Everything feels a little upside-down,but I am happy for you. 一切都反过来了 但是我为你高兴
[17:05] And I’m sorry you weren’t at my wedding. 你没去参加我婚礼 我也很不好意思
[17:07] But it made me realize that this whole surprise wedding thing is stupid. 但是一切让我觉得惊喜婚礼这事很愚蠢
[17:10] When I get married,I want everyone I care about to be there. 当我结婚的时候 我希望每个我关心的人都在场
[17:13] Wow,Jenna,I feel like you and I haven’t talked like this… 哇 Jenna 我觉得我们俩好久没这么聊…
[17:16] Pill wearing off. You have mom arms. 药效过了 你的胳膊好粗
[17:26] Kenneth,it’s Hazel. She’s back. Kenneth 这是Hazel 她回来了
[17:28] I recast her. She tested through the roof… At the STD clinic. 我换了个演员 她测试通过了..性病诊所里的指标
[17:32] Mr. Jordan,stop. Jordan先生 别闹了
[17:34] I don’t want my life to be like TV anymore. 我不希望我的人生像电视一样了
[17:37] Because no one learns anything in elevators,and we almost killed Florence Henderson. 因为在电梯里我们一无所获 还有我们差点害死了Florence Henderson
[17:42] Yes. Almost. 是啊 这不还没害死么
[17:44] I don’t want my life to be like TV,because my life is way better. 我不希望我的生活像电视一样 因为我的真实生活比那好多了
[17:50] Where else but real life would a millionaire movie star 除了真实生活 还能在哪里 会有一个百万富翁大明星
[17:53] care so much about a hillbilly janitor 关心一个乡巴佬打杂的
[17:55] that he would spend two days trying to cheer him up? 会花两天的时间 只是为了哄他开心?
[17:59] You can’t do that on television. 电视上可没有这些
[18:00] Because,if you did,no one would watch. 因为即使有 也没人愿意看的
[18:03] Thank you,Mr. Jordan. Thank you for my wonderful life. 谢谢你 Jordan先生 谢谢你给了我精彩的人生
[18:11] I sure picked the right week to come back. 看来我回来的正是时候
[18:13] You weren’t supposed to have any lines,Kwon Lee. 你不应该说台词的 Kwon Lee
[18:15] Now I have to pay you. 现在我不得不付你钱了
[18:20] Friends,last night when I sat down to write a speech worthy of my mother’s 87 years, 朋友们 昨晚当我坐在那里 为我母亲87年的一生写演讲稿的时候
[18:25] I thought I was facing an impossible task 我觉得这是一个不可能完成的任务
[18:28] until I realized that her constant crushing disapproval was a gift. 直到我认识到 她持续不断的打击我 实际上是给我的一份礼物
[18:35] The greatest gift a mother ever gave a son. 一份母亲能给予儿子的最好的礼物
[18:38] My lifelong quest to please that woman is what made me the man I am today, 正是由于我一生都在取悦我的母亲 我才成为了现在的这个人
[18:43] the man who has been the centerfold of Fortune magazine no fewer than three times, 这个人不下三次登上了财富杂志的插页
[18:49] the man who in 1984 wore a tuxedo so well he broke up the go-go’s, 这个人在1984年穿燕尾服那么完美 把跳舞的人都震了
[18:55] the man who last night wrote and today will deliver the greatest eulogy of all time. 这个人昨天晚上写作 今天即将呈出 史上最伟大的悼词
[19:03] Dublin,1852,a ship Bobs in the Lee tide of the icy Irish Sea. 那是在1852年的都柏林 一艘船摇摆着 顺着洋流驶出寒冷的爱尔兰海
[19:09] Her name… Ariel. 她的名字叫做… Ariel
[19:12] *****
[19:15] *****
[19:19] Today,we are all Irish. 今天 我们都是爱尔兰人
[19:22] And the plumber says,”I don’t know. But that’s a pretty big pizza. “ 那个水管工说 我不知道 但那个批萨可真够大的
[19:29] Life is for the living! 生命是为了活着!
[19:31] But there’s a truth in the center of that. 但是事实就摆在那里
[19:41] Thank you,Kermit,for explaining the afterlife to us. 谢谢Kermit为我们讲解人死后的生活
[19:44] Ah,listen,Jack,thank you for being the man we all aspire to be. 也谢谢Jack 鼓舞我们前进的人
[19:48] Ladies and gentlemen,sir Paul McCartney and the Harlem boys choir. 女士们先生们 Paul McCartney爵士 和哈莱姆男童唱诗班
[19:53] And,though the falling snow would erase her footprints, 虽然落下的雪花会湮没她的足印
[19:57] it could never erase our memory of her. 却湮没不了我们对她的回忆
[20:01] I love you,mother. 我爱您 母亲
[20:04] End of eulogy. 悼词结束
[20:07] Oh,wonderful,Jack! Wonderful! 哦 太棒了Jack! 太棒了!
[20:18] Jenna,no,don’t do this. Jenna 不行 别这么做
[20:19] Jenna,yes,do this. Jenna 去吧 就这么做
[20:21] All the people that I care about are here. It’s perfect. 我关心的所有人都在这里 太好了
[20:29] We are so glad that you could come,Liz. 我们很高兴你能来 Liz
[20:31] I hope traffic wasn’t too bad getting here. 希望来的路上不是太堵
[20:33] Surprise. I’m getting married. 惊喜吧 我要结婚了
[20:38] Mother would have hated this. 我妈要是在 肯定讨厌死这个了
[20:50] 30 ROCK Season 07 Episode 08
[20:53] And I promise not to make fun of you 我保证在你把眼镜戴在头上
[20:54] when you ask where your glasses are and they are on your head. 还在到处找眼镜的时候 不会取笑你
[20:57] I do do that. 我确实会
[20:59] And I promise to always pour antibiotics all over your penis before you staple it to anything. 我保证在你把小弟弟往其他东西上订时 会往上面撒抗生素
[21:06] And now Paul will read the vows he has written for Jenna. 现在由Paul来读他为Jenna写的誓词
[21:09] Jenna,I didn’t know what I was missing in my life until I met you. Jenna 在遇到你之前 我不知道我的人生错过了这么多精彩
[21:13] I love you more than words can say, 我对你的爱不是言语所能形容的
[21:15] and I am so honored to be taking your first and last name. 很荣幸 我能跟你姓 取你名
[21:21] Ladies and gentlemen,presenting Mrs. and Mr. Jenna Maroneys. 女士们先生们 向你们介绍 Jenna Maroneys先生和夫人
我为喜剧狂

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