| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:10] | All right,Lemon,you got me. | 好吧 Lemon 被你抓个现行 |
| [00:12] | Yes,this is the same flashy night tie I was wearing when I left work yesterday. | 这是昨天我戴的那条闪光领带 |
| [00:17] | My hair is a disaster. I am indeed on a walk of shame. | 我头发乱糟糟的 好羞色满面啊 |
| [00:21] | You slut! | 你个骚货 |
| [00:22] | That woman was Pizzarina Sbarro,the heiress to the Sbarro Slice and Calzone Fortune. | 那位是Zarina 披萨丽娜 胜百诺 胜百诺披萨财团的继承人 |
| [00:27] | I should be heading upstairs to change,I wouldn’t want anyone seeing me like this. | 我得上去换衣服 可不想被人看到我这副摸样 |
| [00:32] | Come on. Walk of shame? | 别介啊 羞色满面? |
| [00:34] | I say call it a stride of pride and walk with your arms up,like this. | 我得说是傲娇满面 还要像这样昂首挺胸摇摆上肢 |
| [00:38] | That is surprisingly non-judgmental. | 奇怪了 你说的还挺客观中肯的 |
| [00:40] | I’m 41 years old,Jack. I’m no stranger to the walk of shame. | 我41岁了 Jack 生活中处处羞色满面 |
| [00:43] | Yes,I’m still wearing the same clothes as yesterday. | 没错 我是还穿着昨天的衣服 |
| [00:46] | I stayed up all night helping Bradley finish the Joseph coat. | 我熬了一宿帮Bradley做好了他的百家衣 |
| [00:50] | Just hearing that story tells me that Bradley was gay. | 听到这我就能断定Bradley是同性恋了 |
| [00:53] | Only sexually. But I’ve come a long way since then. | 在性方面而已 不过我过了好久才缓过来 |
| [00:55] | In fact,since Criss and I have been trying, | 实话说 打从决定跟Criss要宝宝起 |
| [00:58] | Liz Lemon has had a little awakening in her bathing suit area. | Liz Lemon对泳装遮盖区有一些觉悟了 |
| [01:01] | Lemon,I’ve seen your bathing suits. | Lemon 我见识过你的泳装 |
| [01:03] | – That could be anywhere. – I’m serious,Jack. | – 你说的基本上是全身的任何地方 – 我没开玩笑 Jack |
| [01:05] | I feel like I’m ready for one of those Sex and the city Girls’ brunches, | 我已经为那种”欲望都市”早午餐做好准备了 |
| [01:08] | where you talk about dirty stuff and make a lot of puns,like, | 讲各种下流话 说各种双关语 好比说 |
| [01:11] | “and I thought I was eating eggs”. | “我以为我吃的是蛋呢” |
| [01:13] | So is Zarina your new girlfriend? | 这么说Zarina是你女朋友喽 |
| [01:16] | Should I,invite her to my sex talk brunch? | 我的坏女孩早午餐要不要叫上她 |
| [01:19] | Zarina is not my girlfriend, | Zarina可不是我女朋友 |
| [01:20] | she’s one of a diverse group of women I’m currently seeing. | 她是我目前庞大约会团中的一位 |
| [01:23] | Group? Back to judgmental. | 约会团 我又想吐槽了 |
| [01:25] | Lemon,after Avery,I realized | Lemon 在跟Avery分手后我明白了 |
| [01:27] | I’m never going to find everything I’m looking for in one woman. | 在一个女人身上我找不到想要的所有东西 |
| [01:29] | It’s not fair to the ladies, | 这对女士们是不太公平的说 |
| [01:30] | just because I’m the,complete package. | 但谁叫我是高富帅呢 |
| [01:32] | You are a complete package. | 你是高富帅 |
| [01:34] | I got the idea watching The Great Escape on TCM one night, | 有晚在TCM上 看完电影”大逃亡”后(一个在线电影网站) |
| [01:37] | how that ragtag bunch of heroes worked together | 我明白了当一群平庸之辈 组成英雄团齐心协力时 |
| [01:40] | to be greater than the sum of their parts. | 会比他们各自行动加起来还要强大 |
| [01:43] | Bronson was the brawn,Attenborough was the brains, | Bronson神勇无敌 Attenborough智谋高超 |
| [01:45] | garner was the scrounger,McQueen was the hottie with the body. | Garner油嘴滑舌 McQueen则是美男子 |
| [01:49] | I’ll say it. | 绝对没错 |
| [01:50] | And,how many prisoners do you have in this little stalag? | 那你的这个小团里有多少平庸之辈啊 |
| [01:53] | Zarina is the society girl I take to black-tie events, | 去正式社交场合 我带Zarina |
| [01:56] | when I want to talk politics I call Anne, | 谈论政治话题 我叫上Anne |
| [01:58] | Tabitha knows how to work my DVR,and Mindy is my,sex idiot. | Tabitha对DVR很精通 而Mindy 是我的性爱宠物 |
| [02:02] | And what if they find out about each other? | 这事被她们发现怎么办 |
| [02:03] | They’re all adults,Lemon. They’ll understand. | 她们都是成年了 Lemon 她们会理解的 |
| [02:05] | And if they did come to blows,it would be… | 万一她们真的掐起架来 |
| [02:09] | Intensely erotic. Like,Steve McQueen on a motorcycle. | 场面一定够情色 那效果跟Steve McQueen(大逃亡主演) 骑在摩托上试着跨过栅栏飞往瑞士一样 可惜那栅栏太高了 |
| [02:14] | Trying to jump that fence into Switzerland,but it’s too high. | |
| [02:19] | He had a leather jacket. | 他穿着皮衣不太方便 |
| [02:24] | Hey,lady friends. | 嗨 女士朋友们 |
| [02:26] | Who would like to join me for brunch? My treat. | 谁想参加我的早午餐啊 我请客哦 |
| [02:29] | We could throw back some cosmos,talk about our climaxes… | 我们可以一起看看时尚 讨论讨论各自的性高潮… |
| [02:36] | If you heard my sex stories,you would lose your mind! | 你要是听过我的床上风流史 你会疯掉的 |
| [02:38] | Sorry,Liz. I’m not even sure they serve brunch after… The ’90s. | 抱歉这么说 Liz 90年以后还有人搞早午餐吗 |
| [02:43] | Liz,check this out. | Liz 瞧瞧这个 |
| [02:44] | – “Jenna Maroney,looking great at… ” – 56? Blarf! | – “Jenna Maroney 宝刀未老… ” – 56岁? 呕… |
| [02:48] | Okay,we are at a code orange here,people. | 我们目前面临着橙色警告 同志们 |
| [02:50] | A magazine has said that Jenna is 56. | 有个杂志写说Jenna有56岁了 |
| [02:52] | God,no… I have children! | 上帝 不要啊…我家还有小孩呢 |
| [02:54] | We’ll get through this together. | 我们同舟共济 有难同当 |
| [02:55] | Pete,you go down to the newsstand. Buy every copy,and burn them. | Pete 你去下面报摊 把所有杂志买回来烧掉 |
| [02:58] | Cerie,get out of here. Just go home for the day. | Cerie 别在这呆着了 回家吧 放你一天假 |
| [03:01] | And Kenneth,get Jenna’s copy out of her dressing room before she sees it. Got it? | Kenneth 把Jenna那份 从她化妆室拿出来别让她看到 |
| [03:07] | My God,Liz. I am furious. | 天哪 Liz 我好火大 |
| [03:10] | You know what would make us all feel better? A ladies’ brunch. | 你知道什么会让我们都好过点吗 女友早午餐 |
| [03:13] | These bitches are down for it. | 这群贱货们可都准备好了 |
| [03:15] | How can you be so calm? | 你怎么能如此冷静 |
| [03:16] | I mean,why would Tracy do this to you? | Tracy怎么可以这样对你呢 |
| [03:19] | Wait,what are we talking about? | 等下 你说哪件事 |
| [03:21] | “I agree @therealstephenhawking”. | “我同意@带V的斯蒂芬霍金” |
| [03:23] | “Women are not funny. Never have been. Never will be”. | “女人不会搞笑 以前不会 以后也不会” |
| [03:27] | Nerd rage! | 人神共愤! |
| [03:43] | 30 ROCK Season 07 Episode 03 | |
| [03:49] | How am I supposed to explain this to Jenna, | 我该怎么跟Jenna解释啊 |
| [03:51] | who has been your comedy partner for almost seven years? | 她当你的搞笑搭档都7年了 |
| [03:54] | Do you want me to talk to her? | 你想让我跟她谈谈吗 |
| [03:56] | Honestly,I never realized she was trying to be funny. | 老实讲 我从没觉得过她在搞笑 |
| [03:59] | I guess I just thought she was a wig model. | 我以为她就是个假发模特呢 |
| [04:01] | – Unacceptable. – Come on,Lem Lizzit. | – 不成 – 拜托了 Lem Lizzit |
| [04:03] | Name one truly funny woman. | 你随便说个真正幽默的女性 |
| [04:05] | No. I refuse to answer this question with a list. It’s insulting. | 我拒绝用开名单的方式回答这个问题 太侮辱女性了 |
| [04:09] | You wouldn’t ask an Asian person to give you a list of good Asian drivers. | 你总不会叫亚洲人给你一份 好的亚洲司机的名单 |
| [04:12] | Gary Tang,Ziang Chu,Roy Chung… | |
| [04:15] | – Stop it. – I was done anyway. | – 别说了 – 反正我也说完了 |
| [04:17] | Look,if women are so funny,do something funny right now. | 要是女性真能搞笑的话 你现在就给我说点搞笑的听听 |
| [04:22] | Welcome to the flower shop… | 欢迎来花店… |
| [04:23] | No! I don’t have to prove anything to you. | 不要 我不用向你证明什么 |
| [04:26] | Maybe men and women find different things funny. | 也许男人跟女人的笑点不同 |
| [04:29] | Maybe things that men like are boring to women. | 也许男人喜欢的 女人就觉得无聊 |
| [04:32] | No,everyone likes our things. | 才不是 我们喜欢的东西是全人类共赏的 |
| [04:34] | Football. Motorcycles. Steak restaurants. | 足球 摩托车 牛排店 |
| [04:37] | Really dark superhero movies. | 黑暗超级英雄系列电影 |
| [04:39] | These are things that suck. | 这些东西都烂透了 |
| [04:42] | But women don’t go around wasting our time writing articles about them. | 但女性可不愿浪费时间跟你们玩纸上游戏 |
| [04:45] | And I am not gonna waste my time engaging you on this topic. | 而我也不会浪费我的时间跟你争执这个 |
| [04:50] | Well,that went well. | 这谈话够顺利的 |
| [04:51] | See? That’s the kind of hilarious button chicks can’t come up with. | 看见没 妞们就是看不到这其中的乐子啊 |
| [05:03] | What is it,Kenneth? I’m answering my fan mail. | 有啥事 Kenneth 我在回复粉丝来信 |
| [05:05] | Nothing. Just doing my daily rounds. | 没事啊 我就做做日常工作 |
| [05:08] | Mmm,my lips are so dry. | 我的唇好干啊 |
| [05:11] | I better wet them with this mop. | 应该用这拖把给我润一下 |
| [05:16] | No. Now my undershirt is wet with mop juice. | 现在好了 我的内衣被拖把汁给弄湿了 |
| [05:21] | I see what’s going on here.You be the janitor, | 我知道这是哪一出了 你是清洁工 |
| [05:23] | and I’ll be the piece of gum on the floor that you just can’t chisel off. | 而我就是那地上好死赖活除不掉的口香糖 |
| [05:29] | Sure is hot in here. | 这里真够热的 |
| [05:30] | Maybe I should roll up my pants. | 或许我该把裤腿卷上来 |
| [05:33] | Yeah. Show me that part of your shins that’s hairless from your synthetic socks. | 这就对了 给我瞧瞧你那块 被化纤袜子弄得寸毛不生的小腿 |
| [05:41] | Liz,Liz,Liz. | |
| [05:42] | Thank God. | 谢天谢地 |
| [05:43] | Also,I called in a fake page six item about how young Jenna is. | 我向娱乐版报了个假料 说Jenna有多年轻 |
| [05:46] | I think our bases are covered. | 我想我们算是蒙混过去了 |
| [05:47] | Okay,great. | 太好了 |
| [05:49] | We solved our Jenna problem. We did it! | 我们解决了Jenna难题 我们成功了 |
| [05:50] | Story over. | 故事结束 |
| [06:18] | – Are you hungry? – No,I’m okay. | – 你饿吗? – 不 还不饿 |
| [06:21] | Do you want to go to a movie,or… | 你想去看场电影还是… |
| [06:23] | No. We can just do it. | 不了 我们可以直接做那个 |
| [06:25] | Okay. | 好吧 |
| [06:27] | – Zarina,hello. – Jack. | – Zarina 你好 |
| [06:30] | This is Mindy. Mindy,Zarina. | 这是Mindy Mindy 这是Zarina |
| [06:32] | – Pleasure. – Yeah. | – 幸会 – 同幸会 |
| [06:35] | – Shiny. – Look,I know this is awkward. | – 哦 亮亮的 – 我知道这很尴尬 |
| [06:37] | But we never said we were exclusive. | 但我们从未说是彼此的唯一 |
| [06:39] | And like a silver-backed gorilla or Mitt Romney’s grandfather, | 跟银背大猩猩或Mitt Romney的祖父一样 |
| [06:41] | I require more than one woman to… | 我需要不止一个女人来… |
| [06:43] | Jack,I understand. I’m sure Mindy gives you certain things I can’t. | Jack 我能理解 我相信Mindy能给你我所不能的 |
| [06:47] | Indeed. The woman appears to have no hip joints. | 确实 那女人好像没有髋关节的 |
| [06:50] | Thank you for being so… | 谢谢你这么… |
| [06:52] | Zarina. Another old guy wanted to buy my shirt. | Zarina 又有个老头想买我的衬衫 |
| [06:55] | Old guys are so funny. | 老头真是太搞笑了 |
| [06:57] | Who is this? | 他是谁? |
| [06:58] | Jack,Ryan. Ryan,Jack. | Jack 这是Ryan Ryan 这是Jack |
| [07:00] | – Ryan. – What’s up? | – 怎么了? |
| [07:02] | Ryan is my sex idiot. | Ryan是我的性爱宠物 |
| [07:08] | So,the other night my boyfriend and I were making love, | 前几天的晚上我和男友在嘿咻 |
| [07:12] | and I suggested that we wear sleep masks. | 我提议说我们戴上眼罩 |
| [07:16] | I hit my nose pretty hard on the bedside table,but… | 我鼻子狠狠地撞上了床头柜 但是… |
| [07:20] | Liz Lemon. I just saw this hilarious dude on YouTube. | 我刚在YouTube看到一个超逗的男人 |
| [07:23] | You gotta put him on the show. | 你要让他上节目 |
| [07:25] | No,it’s… | 不 这是… |
| [07:26] | Of course,a hilarious dude. | 当然 一个超逗的男的 |
| [07:28] | What was it,some idiot who let his friend skateboard over his penis? | 是某个蠢货让他朋友用滑板飞过裤裆吗? |
| [07:31] | Even better. It’s a monkey,and his name is Professor Wigglebottom. | 比这更厉害 是只猴子 叫扭屁屁教授 |
| [07:35] | A monkey? So no women are funny,but you want me to put a monkey on the show. | 一只猴子? 所以女人都无趣 你却想我让只猴子上节目 |
| [07:39] | My God,are we still talking about that? | 我的天呐 我们还要提及那件事吗? |
| [07:42] | We debated this already,and I won. | 我们争辩过 而且我赢了 |
| [07:44] | Tracy,I’m not putting any monkeys on TGS. | Tracy 我不会让任何猴子上女生秀 |
| [07:46] | Because you know what? | 你知道原因吗? |
| [07:47] | I don’t think monkeys are funny. | 我不觉得猴子有趣 |
| [07:49] | How dare you generalize so crassly. | 你怎敢这么笼统地概括 |
| [07:51] | – I’m offended. – Okay. Name one funny monkey. | – 我被惹毛了 – 说出一只有趣的猴子 |
| [07:54] | Bonzo,Clyde,the bear… No! | Bonzo Clyde 那只熊…不 |
| [07:56] | I refuse to answer this question with a list. | 我拒绝用数名字来回答这个问题 |
| [07:58] | It’s insulting to monkeys,and their descendants… Humans! | 这是对猴子和它们后裔-人类的侮辱 |
| [08:02] | I win again. | 我又赢了 |
| [08:05] | You’re okay with this,right,Jack? | 这样你没意见吧 Jack? |
| [08:06] | Of course. How could I not be? | 当然 怎么能有意见呢? |
| [08:08] | I’m great-escaping you,so you have every right to,do the same. | 我背着你换人 你当然有权做同样的事 |
| [08:11] | My generation calls it pokemoning. | 我们这代称之为 集齐宠物小精灵 |
| [08:13] | Gotta catch ’em all. | 得把他们全部收集好 |
| [08:15] | I assume your,sex idiot gives you something I cannot. | 我想你的性爱宠物能给你我不能的 |
| [08:19] | Although I can’t imagine what that might be. | 虽然我无法想象那是什么 |
| [08:23] | Really? | 真的吗? |
| [08:25] | So how many other pokemons are there? | 你一共有多少宠物小精灵? |
| [08:27] | Jack. The plural of Pokemon is “Pokemon”. | Jack 宠物小精灵不分单数复数 |
| [08:33] | Mindy… Mindy… | |
| [08:34] | No,Ryan Lochte! | 不要啊 Ryan Lochte |
| [08:37] | – Look at me… focus. – Mindy. | – 看着我… 看着我眼睛 |
| [08:43] | Ms. Maroney. Did you see this newspaper headline? | Maroney小姐 你看了这报纸的头条吗? |
| [08:46] | Teens Gone Wild: Is Jenna Maroney partying too hard? | 青少年变野 Jenna Maroney夜生活太丰富了吗? |
| [08:49] | Be careful,you don’t want to turn out like Amanda Byne-us. | 当心 你可不想变成Amanda Byneus |
| [08:52] | Did I do it right? | 我这样做行吗? |
| [08:54] | That’s a lie. I am much too old to party. | 这是谎言 我已经老到没有夜生活了 |
| [08:58] | I watch Castle,and my purse is filled with sweet’n lows. | 我看Castle 我的包包装满低脂糖 |
| [09:02] | Liz,can I ask you a question? | Liz 我能问你个问题吗? |
| [09:04] | Don’t let her take me. | 别让她拉走我 |
| [09:05] | It’s not gonna be a question,it’s gonna be a series of mean statements. | 这不会是发问 这将是一连串的恶毒的中伤 |
| [09:09] | If I find out that someone around here planted this disgusting story that I’m young, | 给我发现我们中有人在散布的我还年轻的事 |
| [09:13] | I’m gonna do to them what I did to my own ribs… | 我会像我对我肋骨那样对他们 |
| [09:16] | Take them out. | 把他们做掉 |
| [09:17] | Jeezit was me,okay? I did it. | 天啊 是我 是我做的 |
| [09:19] | Then Magazine said I was 56. | 某杂志说我56岁 |
| [09:22] | – Wait,you saw that? – Well,of course I did. | – 等等 你看过那报道? – 我当然看过 |
| [09:24] | – I planted it. – What? Why? | – 我策划的 – 什么 为什么 |
| [09:27] | To escape the curse of the middle-aged actress. | 为了躲开中年女演员的诅咒 |
| [09:30] | Instead of losing a push-up contest to Julie Bowen | 与其在俯卧撑比赛中输给Julie Bowen |
| [09:32] | to see who gets to play Kevin James’s mean wife who he’s sick of having sex with, | 看谁能扮演Kevin James厌倦与之做爱的刻薄老婆 |
| [09:36] | I’m gonna skip ahead to being an amazing slut who wins Oscars. | 我要一跃成为拥有奥斯卡奖的最炫荡妇 |
| [09:41] | I mean,how hot is Helen Mirren? | Helen Mirren能有多惹火呢? |
| [09:42] | Super-hot. I mean,have you seen that picture of her in a bikini? | 超级惹火 你看过她穿比基尼的图吗? |
| [09:45] | – She looks amazing for… – Exactly… “For.” | – 她看起来很赞 对于 – 就是这意思..对于 |
| [09:48] | She looks amazing for a 67-year-old. | 她看起来很赞 对于67岁的年龄来说 |
| [09:51] | She’s actually not that hot. | 她实际上没那么惹火 |
| [09:53] | She’s got a gut and British legs. | 她有小肚子和英国腿 |
| [09:54] | All right,settle down. | 好的 平静下来 |
| [09:55] | Well,now we know. It won’t happen again. | 现在我们知道这事不会再发生 |
| [09:58] | What if it’s too late,Liz? | 如果太迟怎么办 Liz? |
| [10:00] | I’m in the running for an endorsement deal with Geri-Chair, | 我在竞争Geri-Chair的代言合同 |
| [10:03] | America’s number one motorized stair climber. | 美国最好的电动爬楼梯工具 |
| [10:05] | I know Geri-Chair. They’re the company that makes my bed steps. | 我知道Geri-Chair 是我上床凳的制造商 |
| [10:08] | You better not have messed this up for me,Liz. | 你最好别给我搞砸这个 Liz |
| [10:10] | Because I will take them out. | 因为我会把他们一一做掉 |
| [10:16] | I’m scared,but it tickles. | 吓到我了 不过挠得我痒痒的 |
| [10:21] | ***** | Lochte搞定了一块批萨丽娜 |
| [10:22] | I am aware of this. | 我知道这事 |
| [10:24] | Zarina is great-escaping me,and of course,I’m fine with it. | Zarina在我背后偷偷换人 当然 我没意见 |
| [10:27] | Really? Because I’ve seen that look on your face before. | 真的? 你这表情我见过 |
| [10:30] | When Jack Welch called you Rick. | Jack Welch管你叫Rick就是这张脸 |
| [10:31] | And I was fine with that too. | 那也是毛毛雨 |
| [10:33] | I mean,he and I had met only,like,a million times, | 我们也就见过 千儿八百次的! |
| [10:36] | so why should he remember me. | 他怎么会记得嘛 |
| [10:37] | Maybe I should meet these other men in Zarina’s Pokemon. | 没准我真该见见Zarina其它男人 |
| [10:40] | No,bad idea. | 馊主意 |
| [10:41] | There are no bad ideas,Lemon,only great ideas that go horribly wrong. | 世上没有馊主意 Lemon 只有玩拧巴了的好主意 |
| [10:45] | Look,when no conceivable good can come of something,don’t engage. | 不结善果的事情 最好别做 |
| [10:49] | I would love to keep arguing with Tracy about whether women are funnier than monkeys… | 我倒想跟Tracy理论清楚 到底女人是不是比猴子搞笑 |
| [10:53] | I once saw a monkey in a cowboy outfit. | 我见过一只穿牛仔装猴子 |
| [10:56] | I would love to see the town he’s the sheriff of. | 可想瞅瞅他所管的辖区啦 |
| [10:59] | The point is,why do I care what Tracy thinks? | 关键是 我干嘛在乎Tracy咋想? |
| [11:01] | I don’t,’cause I know the truth. | 我知道真相 所以不在乎 |
| [11:03] | Women are just as funny as men,and you know the truth too. | 女人搞笑不输男人 你也知道 |
| [11:06] | I do. I am the complete package. | 知道 哥就是传说中的高富帅 |
| [11:08] | I don’t need to know what one thing I give Zarina. | 不在乎Zarina从我这儿能得到啥 |
| [11:11] | I mean,who cares? Not me. | 谁在乎? 反正我不在乎 |
| [11:13] | Great. So we’re not engaging. This is growth,Jack. | 很好 咱别做啊 有长进 Jack |
| [11:16] | And we are gonna celebrate by going to a brunch place | 去吃个早午餐庆祝一下 |
| [11:18] | and talking about my new sex-positive lifestyle. | 讨论一下我的全新 积极性趣生活 |
| [11:21] | Absolutely not. | 坚决不 |
| [11:22] | We did it in the shower. My shoes got ruined. | 我俩淋浴做的哟 人家鞋都毁了 |
| [11:25] | I said no! | 我说不! |
| [11:28] | Sorry I’m late,everyone. | 抱歉各位 我来晚了 |
| [11:30] | I had to pick my friend up from the train station. | 去车站接了个朋友 |
| [11:33] | Say hello,Professor Wigglebottom! | 来打个招呼 扭屁屁教授! |
| [11:37] | That dude’s awesome. | 这小伙子帅呆了 |
| [11:39] | See how he’s wearing clothes? | 他怎么穿着衣服? |
| [11:40] | And he’s got a suitcase like he’s going on a business trip. | 还跟出差似地拎个箱子? |
| [11:43] | Why’s he being so professional? | 咋这么专业呢? |
| [11:45] | We should put him on the show! | 应该让他上节目! |
| [11:47] | He could play a young Steven Tyler. | 扮演年轻版Steven Tyler |
| [11:49] | He looks like me if I were fancy. | 我要闪亮点儿就能跟他一样啦 |
| [11:52] | See,Liz? Everyone’s laughing! | 瞅见了吧 Liz? 大伙儿都乐了! |
| [11:55] | Because there are things that are just funny. | 有些东西天生搞笑 |
| [11:58] | Like monkeys,the three stooges,and me! | 猴子呀 三个小丑呀 你哥我呀! |
| [12:02] | And some things just aren’t. | 有些就是不搞笑 |
| [12:04] | Like females,and listing only two things. | 女人呀 就说两样 |
| [12:07] | I’d like to see Lucille Ball do this on TV! | 我倒想瞅瞅Lucille Ball上电视这么干! |
| [12:11] | Male nipples,funny. Monkey nipples,funny. | 男人露点 搞笑 猴子露点 搞笑 |
| [12:14] | Female nipples,useless! | 女人露点 白搭! |
| [12:16] | Engaging! All right,that’s it! | 忍不了啦! 好吧 你逼我的! |
| [12:19] | I will prove to you once and for all that women are just as funny as monkeys. | 我要彻底向你证明 女人跟猴子一样搞笑 |
| [12:23] | Jenna and I are re-mounting our award-winning 1996 two-woman show. | Jenna和我要重现 1996获奖的双姝秀 |
| [12:28] | Right here,4:00 P.M.,mandatory. | 下午四点 就在这儿 每人必到 |
| [12:44] | “Thinking of you,sweetie.” X-O,Zarina. | “想你 亲 么么 Zarina” |
| [12:48] | “Sweetie”. | “亲” |
| [12:50] | Why didn’t she write,”thinking of you,Jackie-bear?” | 为啥不写”想你哟 杰杰小亲亲?” |
| [12:54] | She could have written this…to anyone. | 很可能…是群发哦 |
| [12:58] | Jonathan,get me a young person. | Jonathan 给我找个年轻人 |
| [13:00] | Who has a social life. | 懂社交那种 |
| [13:02] | It’s a group email,isn’t it? | 群邮件 对吧? |
| [13:03] | This woman is pokemoning me. | 这女人正在收集宠物小精灵 |
| [13:06] | She’s blind-copied you,but if you just click this plus sign… | 她密送给你的 但你点一下这个加号的话… |
| [13:10] | Yep. There’s the whole group. | 得 全组都有了 |
| [13:13] | hip420@brooklyn.beard, | 屁屁420@brooklyn点胡子 |
| [13:16] | “ryunloktee”… misspelled…@swimteam.org, | 还拼错了…@swimteam.org |
| [13:20] | kentremendous@fremulon. biz … | 无敌阿Ken@fremulon. biz |
| [13:24] | totalpackage58 … Wait,that’s me. | 高富帅58 不对 那是我 |
| [13:27] | I don’t care if it takes all day. | 用上一整天我也不在乎 |
| [13:30] | I want you to teach me how to copy all of those email addresses | 你教我如何复制所有地址 |
| [13:34] | and paste them into a new email. | 然后粘贴到新邮件上 |
| [13:39] | No,I understand. | 不 我明白 |
| [13:40] | You’ll let me know when you’ve made a decision. | 决定了请你告诉我 |
| [13:42] | But… okay,bye. | 但… 好吧 再见 |
| [13:46] | How’s it going,friendy? | 怎么样了 小盆友? |
| [13:47] | Well,that was Gerald Chair,the inventor of the Geri-Chair. | 刚那是Gerald Chair Geri-Chair的创始人 |
| [13:52] | They’re leaning towards Jamie Lee Curtis. | 他们正在跟Jamie Lee Curtis接洽 |
| [13:54] | She already beat me out for Activia,and cold flash menopause popsicles. | 她已经抢了我的Activia 还有”冻闪闪更年棒冰” |
| [13:59] | Well,this might not be the best timing,but… I need a favor. | 可能现在不是时候 但我需要帮忙 |
| [14:03] | Yeah. Today’s the day when I’m gonna do my first favor ever. | 好吧 你看我像能帮别人的人吗 |
| [14:05] | This isn’t a favor for me,it’s a favor for all women. | 不是帮我 而是全天下女人 |
| [14:09] | We are gonna prove Tracy wrong… | 要证明Tracy是错的 |
| [14:11] | – Bored. – And show him how funny women are. | – 没意思 – 让他看看女人多搞笑 |
| [14:14] | – Are we,though? – By… Re-staging our old show. | – 咱?有吗? – 咱们来重现咱的老节目 |
| [14:19] | Our old show. | 老节目 |
| [14:25] | Are you thinking,or doing kegels? | 你是在思考还是在练肌肉呢? |
| [14:27] | Yes. | 是滴 |
| [14:29] | Let’s do it. | 好吧 演 |
| [14:30] | But we have to do the doctor sketch,the one where I’m a little girl. | 得演医生那一段 我演小女孩 |
| [14:34] | Sure. Absolutely. And thank you for being a friend about this. | 行啊 必须的 多谢友情支持 |
| [14:37] | Yes,friend. | 是啊 友 |
| [14:39] | I mean,yes… Friend. | 对的 友 |
| [14:45] | Thank you for coming in,gentlemen. | 多谢光临 先生们 |
| [14:46] | I look forward to discovering exactly what each of you has to offer Zarina that I do not. | 期待了解大家能给予Zarina 而我木有的 |
| [14:51] | I know she has a sex idiot for uninhibited experimentation. | 我知道她养了个性爱宠物 搞什么不羁试验 |
| [14:55] | No,I’m pretty sure we’re in love. | 不对 我们肯定相爱了 |
| [14:57] | A filthy hippie to make her feel bohemian. | 还有个脏兮兮的嬉皮士 玩波西米亚风 |
| [14:58] | I get it,I can’t give her that. | 这个哥没有 了解 |
| [15:00] | Someone to make her parents angry… | 一个在家长跟前玩儿叛逆 |
| [15:02] | Aw,man,is that all I am to her? It’s 2012. | 我就这点用处哇?这都2012啦 |
| [15:05] | Sorry,Norbert. The truth hurts. | 抱歉 Norbert 现实残酷啊 |
| [15:08] | Interesting. A mean wall street type. | 还有华尔街腹黑男 有意思 |
| [15:11] | I would have thoughtht I was the money guy. | 我以为自己才是大款呢 |
| [15:13] | So what does that make me? Just the perfect head of hair? | 那我又是啥?一头靓发哇? |
| [15:17] | – Sorry I’m late. – Heavenly father. | – 抱歉 我来晚了 – 我滴个神 |
| [15:20] | You must be Ken tremendous. | 你想必是无敌阿Ken |
| [15:22] | I don’t understand. What am I doing here? | 我不懂哎 那我算干啥的? |
| [15:24] | We’ve covered all the classic boyfriend archetypes. | 所有典型男友都齐了 |
| [15:28] | Except the father figure. | 除了干爹型 |
| [15:30] | Where is that guy,am I right? | 那哥们儿呢 我说对了吧? |
| [15:32] | The one who falls asleep at the opera, | 看歌剧睡着 |
| [15:34] | and doesn’t notice that she’s texting her real boyfriend from his bed. | 根本没发现她在床上 给正版男友发短信呢 |
| [15:38] | Where’s that sucker? | 那个衰人在哪里? |
| [15:43] | No… Is it me? | 不会… 是我吧? |
| [15:54] | Ladies and gentlemen,what you are about to see | 女士们先生们 你们将要欣赏到 |
| [15:57] | is a classic sketch from the Chicago area piven-nominated two-woman show,Maroney and Lemon. | 芝加哥地区Piven钦点双姝秀 Maroney和Lemon的经典片段 |
| [16:04] | I take you now to this… | 马上把你带到… |
| [16:07] | Doctor’s office. | 医生办公室 |
| [16:11] | Doctor,I’m unhappy with me widdle body. Can you help me? | 医生 我不满意我这爱尿床的小身板 你能帮我吗? |
| [16:16] | Well,of course. Toddler plastic surgery is an exciting new field. | 当然了 婴幼儿整形手术是一个振奋人心的新领域 |
| [16:20] | We can take you down an entire diaper size. | 我们可以把你缩小一个尿布号呢 |
| [16:24] | * This sketch is hilarious * | * 这些段子都好好笑 * |
| [16:26] | * take it from me * | * 这话是我说的 * |
| [16:28] | * women are funny we can all agree * | * 女人很搞笑 我们都知道 * |
| [16:31] | * Carrol Burnett,Lucille Ball… * | |
| [16:33] | * no,not gonna do it * | * 不 不陪你玩这个 * |
| [16:34] | * it’s beneath us all * | * 她们都不如我们 * |
| [16:35] | * ’cause we don’t need to prove it to you * | * 因为我们不需要向你证明什么 * |
| [16:39] | * no,we don’t need to prove it to you * | * 不 因为我们不需要向你证明什么 * |
| [16:42] | “Tank” you,doctor. | 谢谢你 医生 |
| [16:44] | Don’t thank me,thank Roe V. Wade. | 别谢我 谢Roe V. Wade (1973年Roe一案赋予妇女堕胎权) |
| [16:47] | * no,we don’t need to prove it * | * 不 因为我们不需要向你证明什么 * |
| [16:49] | * oh,I didn’t see that coming * | * 哦 没想到会这样 * |
| [16:50] | * no,we don’t need to prove it to you * | * 不 因为我们不需要向你证明什么 * |
| [16:57] | That was actually funny,Liz. | 还真是挺搞笑的 Liz |
| [16:58] | So why do TGS suck so much? | 那为什么女生秀这么差劲呢? |
| [17:01] | Thanks,Frank. | 谢谢啊 Frank |
| [17:03] | Elizabeth Q. Lemonade,I owe you an apology. | Liz小亲亲 我要向你道歉 |
| [17:06] | That skit was funny. Like,monkey funny. | 段子好好笑 跟猴子搞笑一样好笑 |
| [17:08] | Thanks. That means a lot,Tracy. | 谢谢 你能这么说我好感动 Tracy |
| [17:10] | When you were,like,”come in,I’m a doctor,” | 当你说 “请进 我是医生”的时候 |
| [17:12] | – Yeah. – And you had on that lab coat,like a doctor. | – 是啊 – 你还穿上了白大褂 就像个医生一样 |
| [17:15] | A lady doctor… My God,that is hilarious! | 女医生… 天啊 太搞笑了! |
| [17:20] | Really? That’s what you thought the joke was,there’s a female doctor? | 真的吗? 你觉得笑点在这里 一个女医生? |
| [17:23] | Yeah. And Jenna,you as that sad old prostitute trying to look young… Commentary! | 是啊 还有Jenna 就像一个老妓女在努力扮嫩 绝了! |
| [17:29] | Old? Thank you,Tracy. | 老? 谢谢你 Tracy |
| [17:32] | That’s the only reason I did this. | 就是为了这个我才演的 |
| [17:33] | And it was spectacular! | 看 多成功! |
| [17:36] | Gerald! You came! | Gerald! 你来了! |
| [17:39] | You bet I did,baby. | 必须的 亲 |
| [17:41] | There’s nothing older than trying to be young. | 没有什么比老黄瓜刷绿漆更显老的了 |
| [17:43] | And you looked like a million years up there. | 你在台上显得那叫一个老啊 |
| [17:46] | Congratulations. You are Geri-Chair’s new spokes-crone! | 恭喜你 你成为了Geri-Chair的新任代言婆! |
| [17:53] | Lolo Jones,a man couldn’t even do that doctor sketch. | 女飞人 一个男的都写不出来那个医生的段子 |
| [17:55] | We would’ve just been sitting there listening to his medical advice. | 如果是个男的 我们可能就得听他叨叨医学建议了 |
| [17:59] | You were right,Liz Lemon. Women can be funny. | 你是对的 Liz Lemon 女人也可以搞笑 |
| [18:06] | You know what? I’ll take it. | 好吧 这我也认了 |
| [18:08] | Stride of pride. | 昂首挺胸好傲娇 |
| [18:21] | Jenna? | |
| [18:23] | Jack,I’m sorry. | Jack 很抱歉 |
| [18:24] | I didn’t think anyone would be up here this late. | 我以为这么晚了这里不会有人了 |
| [18:26] | Sometimes,I like to come up here at night | 有的晚上我会到这里来 |
| [18:28] | and flash my breasts at the empire state building. | 冲着帝国大厦露胸 |
| [18:30] | Is that the only building that you flash? | 你只冲一栋楼露吗? |
| [18:32] | Or do you also flash the Time Warner center | 还是也冲时代华纳中心露一下 |
| [18:35] | to make the Empire State Building feel like an old fool. | 让帝国大厦觉得自己是个老2B? |
| [18:38] | Are you all right,Jack? | 你还好吧 Jack? |
| [18:40] | You look like that flash card they told me means sadness. | 你就像我的识字卡片里 表示悲伤的那一张 |
| [18:42] | I have to break it off with a woman I’m seeing. | 我要和我对象分手呢 |
| [18:45] | I found out I’m just an aging squirtle in her Pokemon. | 我发现我就是她的宠物小精灵里的杰尼龟 |
| [18:51] | That’s tough. | 好辛酸 |
| [18:53] | Accepting the way other people see us can be difficult. | 接受别人对你的真实看法是很不易 |
| [18:56] | I mean,inside,I still feel like a sex idiot. | 我内心里还觉得自己是性爱宠物的角色 |
| [18:59] | But I have to accept the fact that I’m fake 56 now, | 但我现在已经接受自己是个假56岁的人了 |
| [19:03] | and I’m more of a Diane Lane ageless beauty. | 现在我更像Diane Lane 不老美人 |
| [19:06] | But don’t fight it,embrace it. | 与其反抗 不如尽情享受 |
| [19:08] | Look. Do you really want this girl asking you to go hear her friend DJ in Brooklyn? | 你真想跟这女孩去布鲁克林 听她的朋友DJ的表演吗? |
| [19:13] | No,that sounds exhausting. | 不 听上去好累 |
| [19:15] | Do you want to drive five hours to go rock climbing with her, | 你想开五个小时的车和她去攀岩 |
| [19:18] | and be expected to have sex after? | 她还指望你回来以后和她滚床单吗? |
| [19:20] | I do not. I mean,my back. | 不行 我是说我背不行 |
| [19:21] | So don’t break up with her. | 那就别和她分手 |
| [19:23] | Just be the older person. It’s fun. | 就当那个老家伙吧 很有意思的 |
| [19:26] | You get to say racist stuff whenever you want,and people bring you soup. | 你可以随时说一些种族歧视的话 人们还会给你汤 |
| [19:31] | I do like soup. | 我确实喜欢喝汤 |
| [19:40] | Okay,so maybe I never got my Sex and the city brunch. | 好吧 也许我永远都没法实现 欲望都市里的早午餐了 |
| [19:43] | And maybe I never got to share the fact that I now know four different sexual positions, | 或许我永远也无法与人分享 我现在已经知道四个体位的秘密了 |
| [19:48] | one of which involves a chair. | 其中一个还要用到椅子呢 |
| [19:50] | But maybe a good relationship is more than that,anyway. | 但是或许一段健康的感情 不仅只有这些 |
| [19:54] | All this talk of great-escaping and pokemons got me thinking. | 所有这些关于背后换人和宠物小精灵的讨论 让我想到 |
| [19:57] | Is accepting who you are the secret to getting what you want? | 自我承认是不是实现梦想的秘密途径? |
| [20:01] | Action! | 开拍! |
| [20:02] | Geri-Chair makes it safe for me to spend Christmas alone. | Geri-Chair让我即使圣诞独自在家也很安全 |
| [20:06] | Do men and women really see the world so differently? | 男人女人对这个世界的看法真的如此不同吗? |
| [20:09] | Or can we agree that we’re all just monkeys with suitcases trying to seem like people? | 或许我们都应该承认 我们都是带着公文包的猴子 只是在拼命给自己披上人类的外表? |
| [20:14] | Well played,Professor. | 下得好 教授 |
| [20:18] | Wait… You’re a female? | 等一下… 你是母的? |
| [20:20] | How you doin’,girl? | 最近怎么样啊 姑娘? |
| [20:24] | Can we get everything we need from one person? | 我们能从一个人身上获得一切所需吗? |
| [20:27] | Or is that what friends are for, | 或许这应该是朋友的角色 |
| [20:29] | to be the allied P.O.W.’s and | 当个患难盟友 或者 |
| [20:31] | whimsical Japanese mini-creatures that help us get through life? | 当那种日本的怪异小动物能帮助我们直面人生? |
| [20:36] | Now,this is how people danced before Chubby Checker ruined everything. | 这是在扭臀舞毁了一切之前舞蹈的真正样子 |
| [20:40] | I guess what I’m saying is | |
| [20:43] | I need to modify my zappos order, | 我觉得我的意思是说 我需要修改一下我的Zappos订单 |
| [20:44] | so please email me back at your earliest convenience. | 所以请您尽快回复我的邮件 |
| [20:54] | Phyllis Diller,Joan Rivers,Gilda Radner,Lucille ball, | |
| [20:58] | Julia Louis-Dreyfus,Carol Burnett,Lily Tomlin. | |
| [21:01] | Yes,thank you,Tracy. Those are all very funny women. | 是啊 谢谢 Tracy 这些人都是很幽默的女人 |
| [21:04] | Funny women? Those are the names of my fingers. | 幽默的女人? 这是我手指头的名字 |
| [21:07] | Irma Bombeck,Tig Notaro… | |
| [21:09] | Is my impression of a Chinese person. | 是我对中国人的印象 |
| [21:13] | Wait! Hold on! | 什么! 打住! |
| [21:14] | Ellen DeGeneres,Mo’nique,and Roseanne Barr. | |
| [21:17] | Now that’s some funny women. | 这些才是幽默的女人(以上均为喜剧演员) |
| [21:19] | All of whom have screamed at me because they were on their period. | 所有人都冲我吼过 因为她们大姨妈来了 |
| [21:27] | 30 ROCK Season 07 Episode 03 |