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我为喜剧狂(30 Rock)第5季第18集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on July 8, 2024 By taiciben_script_user No Comments on 我为喜剧狂(30 Rock)第5季第18集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计
时间 英文 中文
[00:02] – ***** – I know I broke it. – Jack 自动售货机坏了 – 我知道 是我弄坏的
[00:05] I needed to speak with you, and I knew that was the fastest way to get you up here. 这样你就会飞速赶来 正好要找你
[00:08] You bastard! I trusted you! 混蛋!
[00:11] Lemon… Lemon! 亏我还相信你!
[00:14] Is there any news about tracy? 有Tracy的消息吗?
[00:16] As of this morning,he was still saving lives in africa. 今早他仍在非洲拯救生命
[00:19] I’m doing god’s work here in africa. 我的工作很神圣
[00:21] Why,just yesterday,I kicked two naked people out of a garden. 昨天我刚把两个裸男从院子轰走
[00:24] – But tracy,we need you here – Simba rafiki! Click,click,click. – Tracy 我们需要你 – Simba Rafiki! 锵 锵 锵
[00:29] Yeah,that’s right. I just put you in your place in african. 没错 在用非洲话形容你
[00:32] tgs with tracy jordan without tracy jordan is an oxymoron 拥有Tracy的TGS失去了Tracy 这种说法是矛盾修饰语
[00:35] Like”liberal government” or “female scientist. ” Or “princeton football. – 就像”开明政府”或”女性科学家” – “普林斯顿橄榄球”
[00:39] ” We were 4 and 3 in ivy league play last year. 去年我们在常春藤联盟排第4第3
[00:42] Our quarterback,henry chang – It doesn’t matter. 四分卫Henry Chang… 离题了
[00:45] The point is that without tracy,tgs is going on… A forced hiatus. 关键是没有Tracy TGS会被迫停播
[00:50] Forced hiatus? Okay. 被迫停播? 好吧
[00:53] So what should I tell the troops? 那和手下怎么交代
[00:55] It’s simple. Sit them down individually. 很简单 单独坐下聊聊
[00:58] Tell them the network still supports the show and that this is temporary. 说公司还会扶持节目的 现在只是暂时停播
[01:01] But you’re lookin’ out for us,right? Pounding on desks and… 你会为我们说好话的 对吧? 捶桌子
[01:04] – Doing whatever this is called. – Power wagging. And I’m doing what I can. – 叫什么指来着 – 一阳指 我会尽力的
[01:08] But I spent a lot of political capital buying a new network for kabletown. 不过我花了不少银子收购新的电视网
[01:12] Is it tnt? Are rizzoli and isles friends in real life? 是TNT吗? 生活中妙探双姝是朋友吗?
[01:14] It’s a small cable network targeted towards gay male viewers. 是面向男同性恋的小型电视公司
[01:18] – It’s called twinks. – That’s the name of your network? – 叫Twinks – 起这名儿?
[01:22] – Isn’t twink a term for a young,hairless gay man? – Nonsense. – Twinks就是指年轻秃顶同性恋 – 乱讲
[01:25] Twinks is an acronym designed to project a positive gay image. Twinks是建立同性恋正面形象的缩写
[01:28] “twinks-television with individuals… “Twinks 属于你们的电视台
[01:31] Naive,kinky,shaved. ” Okay. 纯洁 性感 毛光光的同性恋” 好吧
[01:34] If the network were thriving,it would be one thing. Twinks收视长虹就好了
[01:36] But my programming has yet to find its footing. 可节目质量实在不行
[01:39] gay **** 同性恋体育中心 噢 不!下一个! 真无聊! 谁啊?
[01:39] Uck. No! Next! Boring! Who? 同性恋体育中心 噢 不!下一个! 真无聊! 谁啊?
[01:43] Twinks could be extremely lucrative. Advertisers covet this demographic. Twinks会很诱人 广告商对这块市场垂涎欲滴
[01:48] When I was with d’fwan on queen of jordan, 我和D’fwan一起演Jordan皇后时
[01:50] he spent $4,000 on chihuahua outfits for himself. 他花了$4,000买了吉娃娃外套 自己穿
[01:55] okay,well,don’t worry about tgs. 那别担心TGS了
[01:58] I’ll take care of this hiatus thing myself. 我自己来处理
[02:00] Thank you,lemon. I’d like to help. But I’m afraid my hands are tied… 谢谢你 本想帮你的
[02:04] Is the only show anyone’s watching on twinks. 可”无能为力”
[02:21] 30 Rock S05E18 是Twinks唯一有收视率的节目
[02:28] The important thing is this forced hiatus is only temporary. 关键停播是暂时的
[02:31] We’ll be back before you know it. 很快我们就能卷土重来
[02:33] sidney,it’s frank. Tgs is dead. Start booking me stand-up gigs. Sidney 我是Frank TGS倒了 开始帮我找说相声的活
[02:36] How many black women’s colleges are there in the country? 美国有多少所黑人女子大学?
[02:39] – What are you doing? – You just said we’re going on a forced hiatus. – 你干嘛呢 – 你说我们被迫停播了
[02:42] I know what that meansTime for plan “b”. 我知道那意味着 该执行后备计划了
[02:45] Harriet tubman school of nursing? Yes and yes! Harriet Tubman护士学校? 很好 没错!
[02:49] Well,good thing I kept my teaching certificate so I can still sub. 还好我留着教师证 能代课
[02:51] Last time I taught,i was like robin williams in dead poets society… 上次我教书的腔调 就像死亡诗社的Robin Williams
[02:55] By which I mean I got fired. 意识就是说被开除了
[02:56] No,pete. This is only temporary. Pete 只是暂时的
[03:03] Thanks for telling me,liz. We’ll get through this. 谢谢你告诉我 Liz 我们会渡过难关的
[03:05] Oh,thank you! Finally,someone with some faith! 哦 谢谢! 总算有人还有点信心!
[03:09] no. I meant my jennababies and I will get through this. 不 我指的是Jenna娃娃和我会共度难关
[03:13] I’ve been selling these on qvc for years. It’s my plan “b”. 我在QVC上卖了好几年 这是我的后备计划
[03:16] This is asian jennababy. 这是Jenna娃娃亚洲版
[03:18] Excuse me,g.i.,do you miss your girlfriend? I’m good at math. 你好 大兵们 想女朋友吗? 我数学不错哦
[03:22] So it’s not offensive. 这样讲不太失礼
[03:25] Where you going-it’s just until tracy comes back. 你要去哪儿 Tracy回来就好了
[03:27] I’m going back to the job I had in holland – Police psychic. 我要回荷兰做本职 通灵警探
[03:30] A dutch tv show is based on me. 这部电视剧是我主创的
[03:33] I see **** 一只手举起了刀
[03:36] It **** 很昏暗
[03:38] There *** 有只木鞋
[03:39] and a **** 还有风车
[03:42] the murderer *** 天 凶手是首相
[03:44] PSYCHISCHE 通灵警探
[03:47] Come on,sue. You can’t just leave me here with toofer. 别这样啊 Sue 你不能丢下我跟Toofer一起
[03:50] Actually,I’m off,liz. With my degree,I can always go into architecture 实际上 我也要走了 Liz 凭我的学位 我可以自由穿梭在建筑业
[03:54] or medical nanotechnology- 或者医用纳米技术行业中
[03:56] Wait. What did you major in? 等等 你的专业是什么
[03:57] Sorry. I don’t understand. I see. 抱歉 你什么意思 哦 我明白了
[04:01] At harvard,we call them concentrations. 在哈佛 我们管这叫主修
[04:06] You’re my last hope. Please tell me you know this is temporary. 你是我最后的希望了 你得知道这是暂时的
[04:09] Of course it is. ’cause I’m gonna find a way to save the show. 当然了 因为我会想出挽救这个节目的办法
[04:13] Let me just take out my idea journal. 让我看看我的主意簿
[04:17] This just says bird internet. 这上只写了小鸟网络
[04:23] He said forced hiatus? Oh,man. That’s bad. 他说被迫中断 哦 那可不妙
[04:27] Simon,you’re my agent. You’re not supposed to panic. You’re supposed to help me. Simon 你是我的经纪人 你应该想办法帮助我 而不是慌张
[04:30] like how fredward helps out icarly. 就像Fredward帮iCarly那样
[04:32] No! Listen,everyone here has a plan “b”. 不 听好了 每个人都有B计划
[04:35] If there’s a real chance that tgs could go away,what is my backup? 如果TGS万一真的停播 我的备选能是什么?
[04:38] Maybe something with vampires. ’cause everything has vampires nowadays. 跟吸血鬼有关的东西怎么样 现在什么都跟吸血鬼沾点边
[04:42] Have you seen the twilight movies or vampires diaries? i’m not allowed to. 你看过暮光之城或者吸血鬼日记吗? 不行 我做不来
[04:45] You need to get me some meetings. 你得给我安排几个面试
[04:47] Would you be willing to come in for an alpo commercial? 你愿意来试试Alpo广告吗? (Alpo:宠物食品)
[04:51] If you can get through the audition without pooping,it’s yours. 如果你面试的时候不便便 那工作就是你的了
[04:53] I’m a human writer,simon. Find me a writing job. 我是个编剧 大活人 Simon 给我找个写字的工作
[04:58] So,jack,how’s the baby? Jack 你的宝贝怎么样?
[05:01] Baby… Ah,yes! BabyBlack-asian bisexual youths. 宝贝… 哦 黑人 亚裔 双性恋 小年青
[05:05] Those are viewers we want,and twinks is gonna bring them in. 这是我们的目标观众 Twinks绝对能把他们吸引过来
[05:08] It’s not a business question,jack. I mean your baby. Your daughter. 我不是问公事 Jack 我是说你的宝宝 你女儿
[05:13] Of course,uh,liddy,she is adorable. 哦 你说Liddy 她很可爱
[05:16] My night nurse swears she calls me koskel, 我家的保姆说她叫我Koskel
[05:19] which in trinidadian creole means stranger. 在特立尼达克里奥尔语里 是陌生人的意思
[05:22] Don’t let work be everything,jack. 别让工作成为生活的全部 Jack
[05:24] Family’s just as important as fixing that fellas that like fellas network you talked me into buying. 和改进那个你说服我买下的 同志频道一样 家庭同样重要
[05:29] – I’m on top of that. – Are you? – 我尽在掌握 – 是吗
[05:31] Jack,there’s lots of things I like – Fishing, Jack 我喜欢很多事情 比如说钓鱼
[05:34] marches by john philip sousa,telephones that look like footballs. John Philip Sousa的进行曲 像橄榄球一样的电话机 (John Philip Sousa 军乐指挥家)
[05:38] But there’s one thing I don’t like – Losing money. 但有一样我不喜欢 赔钱
[05:41] Now,I don’t know if my tone is conveying the fury I feel about this, 我不知道我现在的口气 是否传达出我的愤怒
[05:44] but I am,pardon my french,bonjour! 但我相当愤怒 请原谅我的法语 你好!
[05:52] now,that’s a joke,but I am really,really mad. 好吧 刚刚是个笑话 但我真的很生气
[05:54] Look,hank,I’m already working on fixing twinks. Hank 我已经在着手改进Twinks了
[05:57] I’m remaking knight ridwith the oscar meyer wienermobile. 我打算用Oscar Mayer品牌的香肠车 重拍霹雳游侠
[06:00] It’s okay,jack. 没关系 Jack
[06:02] You made a bad decision and bought something you didn’t understand, 你决策失误 买了个你不领行情的东西
[06:05] like when I bought tickets for black swan. 就像我买票去看黑天鹅
[06:07] Remember when a movie was just a fellow with a hat runnin’ away from a fellow with no hair? 记不记得有部电影情节就是讲 一个戴帽子的人逃离一个没头发的人?
[06:12] – No. – The point is… You failed. – 不知道 – 重点是 你输了
[06:15] But unless there’s a gay jack donaghy locked up somewhere who understands all this stuff, 除非有一个精通这些门道的 同性恋版Jack Donaghy
[06:20] let’s just chalk this one up to never again… 咱们就把这件事引以为鉴 以后别犯
[06:24] And enjoy our lunch. 好好享受午餐吧
[06:27] Hank… There is a gay jack donaghy. Hank… 其实有一个 同性恋版的Jack Donaghy
[06:32] His name is devin banks. 他就是Devin Banks
[06:36] – are you okay? – I sense something… – 你没事儿吧 – 我貌似感觉到什么
[06:38] A presence I’ve not felt since… 从未如此强烈
[06:46] ****** Devin banks. Lemon 我打算雇用Devin Banks
[06:51] Banks? But he’s your nemesis. Banks 他可是你的宿敌啊
[06:53] That would be like me hiring that mouse that keeps pooping in my slippers. 这就好比我雇用那只 一直往我拖鞋里便便的老鼠
[06:56] Devin is the perfect man to fix twinks. He’s a gay shark,like the actor who played jaws. Devin是拯救Twinks的最佳人选 他是同志里的翘楚 像”大白鲨”里那个演员
[07:00] But he’s gonna come in and try to ruin everything, 但是他会毁了一切的
[07:02] and everything is already ruining itself. 而一切已经在自行解体了
[07:04] Not this time. Banks put all of his eggs in the obama basket. 这次不会的 Banks把希望都寄予Obama身上了
[07:08] When the administration started to falter because of our conspiracy- 当政府因为我们的阴谋 表现出不稳定时
[07:11] I mean,obama’s ineptitude, 我是说 因为Obama的不称职 (Jack不小心漏嘴说有阴谋)
[07:14] he tried to distance himself publicly from,uh,your president. 他可是公开和你们选出的总统划清界限
[07:19] The recession we’re emerging from was primarily 目前所显现出的不景气主要是
[07:21] caused by lack of responsibility and accountability. 因为责任和义务的缺失
[07:24] Then he tried to rejoin us capitalists,showed up at john paulson’s sweet 16 billion party. 然后他想重新加入我们这些资本家阵营 在John Paulson举办的富翁派对上出现
[07:29] Nobody would talk to him. Not even ira. 谁也不愿意跟他说话 连Ira都不理他
[07:31] Then he was all,”oh,I’ll just look at these books,” then pretended to get a text and left, 然后他就 “噢 那我就稍微看一下这些书吧” 接着假装收了条短信就走了
[07:35] and we were all like “whatever. We’ll go to ihop. And not tell him. 然后我们就说 “算了 我们去玩 然后不告诉他”
[07:38] – ” Where is he now? – I tracked him down to an address in brooklyn. – 那他现在在哪里啊? – 我找到了一个他在布鲁克林的地址
[07:42] He’s on linkedin,lemon. He might as well be dead! 他居然在用Linkedin作为社交网络 Lemon 他还不如去死呢!
[07:46] So I throw him a lifeline,and he comes crawling back like a,uh… 然后我就扔给他一个救生圈 然后他就像只什么一样爬回来…
[07:51] Crab,I guess. What else crawls,lemon? 螃蟹吧 什么东西是爬的啊 Lemon?
[07:53] Babies,jack. You have one. 婴儿也爬 Jack 你也有一个
[07:55] Hank hooper is a traditionalist. Hank hooper是个老古董
[07:58] He had his first heart attack when he saw pineapple on a pizza. 他第一次得心脏病是因为 他看到批萨上有菠萝
[08:00] He’ll hate banks and his hairless nostrils. 他会恨死Banks和他那没毛的鼻孔的
[08:03] And men should have nose hairs. 男人的鼻孔里应该有毛的
[08:05] Hooper will hate devin,and he’ll never be able to go over your head. Hooper会讨厌Devin 这样 他就永远爬不到你头上去了
[08:08] Exactly. I’ll pay him for his ideas and,uh,kick him out the door. 正是 我会付钱听取他的建议 然后再把他踢出去
[08:12] Speaking of tv ideas,would you buy a show 说起电视节目 如果剧本 说的是某个电视女作家
[08:15] about a girl television writer trying to have it all in the city and… 想要在城市里有番作为…
[08:19] – Also,she’s a vampire,I guess? – I like the end part. – 同时 她还是一个吸血鬼 你会采纳吗? – 我喜欢最后那部分
[08:22] Lemon,why do you have a blank note pad with “plan b” written on it? Lemon 你的空白笔记本上 为什么写着”B计划”?
[08:25] Because I’m freaking out. I told everyone about the forced hiatus- 因为我现在很怕啊 我跟每个人都说了 暂时被迫停播的事
[08:29] Wait.You said “forced hiatus”? 等等 你说了”被迫停播”吗?
[08:31] Yeah. I didn’t know it was code for canceled. 是啊 我不知道那是腰斩暗语
[08:34] I thought we understood each other. 我以为我们之间很有默契的
[08:35] I thought we understood that you are never to think that I understand anything! 我以为你我都领悟到 你懂得我不可能都懂!
[08:38] And you have no plan “b”? 所以你没有”B”计划?
[08:40] I’ve been telling you to prepare for the end tgs for the last two years. 在过去两年里 我已经不停地提醒你 要准备没有TGS的日子
[08:44] well,there have been a lot amazing races on since then, 可从那时开始 “极速前进”一直很好看
[08:46] and I had to watch them and go online and comment on them. 我看得停不下来 然后还要上网去评头论足
[08:48] Here are your options You can go to l.a. 这些是你的选择 你可以去洛杉矶
[08:51] I’ve been to l.a. Once. 我去过洛杉矶 就一次
[08:52] April 29,1992 1992年4月29日 – Olive大街变成了Barham大道? – 为Rodney King主持正义!
[08:52] – Olive just turns into barham? – Justice for rodney king! 1992年4月29日 – Olive大街变成了Barham大道? – 为Rodney King主持正义!
[08:55] – How do I get to 10? – It’s the 10! – 我要怎么才能到第10街啊? – 这里就是第10街!
[08:59] – rodney king! – You can’t afford to be selective. – 你现在挑剔不起来了
[09:01] Opportunities for writers are fewer and farther between. 留给编剧的选择越来越少了
[09:04] What about opportunities for storytellers? 那做个讲故事的人呢?
[09:06] Beginning with the cave paintings of lascaux,mankind- 从拉斯科的山洞壁画开始 人类-
[09:09] I can get you a meeting with nick lachey for the sing-off. 我可以让你跟 Nick Lachey谈谈关于”欢乐颂”节目
[09:11] I’ll take it! 好 我要!
[09:16] – you here for the sing-off gig? – yeah. – 你也是来面试的吗? – 是啊
[09:18] – Do I know you? – You know my work. Walk with me. – 我认识你吗? – 你应该知道我的作品 跟我一起走走
[09:22] I’m aaron sorkin. The west wing,a few good men,social network. 我是Aaron Sorkin 白宫风云 义海雄风 社交网络都出自我手
[09:26] – Studio 60? – Shut up. Do you know nick lachey? – 还有日落大道60号? – 闭嘴 你知道Nick Lachey?
[09:28] I hear he doesn’t even let you sit in the meeting. He just screams at you to see how you react. 我听说开会时他都不让你坐 就朝你大吼然后看你怎么反映
[09:31] Wait,you’re not really applying for this job,are you? 等等 你不是真的想要应征这工作吧?
[09:33] Of course I am. You gotta take work where you can find it. Especially now. 当然是了 哪里有活就接 特别是现在
[09:36] Our craft is dying while people are playing angry birds and poking each other on facebook. 我们的才华已经要断层了 现在的人都只会玩 愤怒的小鸟和脸书
[09:40] What is poking,anyway? Why won’t anybody do it to me? I’m cool! 到底什么是脸书啊? 怎么就没人加我呢? 我也很潮啊!
[09:43] So it’s really that bad out there. I mean,you’re aaron sorkin. 所以世道真不好啊 连Aaron Sorkin都这样
[09:47] Speaking angry birds,do you know how to beat 11-4? 说起愤怒的小鸟 你知道怎么过11关之4吗?
[09:49] it’s just a red guy and a green guy. 就是只有红 绿两个家伙的那关
[09:51] The key is do not use the green guy as a boomerang. 关键是不要用那个绿家伙来做回旋镖
[09:53] Did we just go in a circle? 我们刚刚是绕圈走了一次吗?
[09:54] Listen,lady- A gender I write extremely well if the story calls for it- This is serious! 听着 小姐 只要故事要求 我都能把 一个性别写得特别好- 我干活很严肃的!
[09:59] We make horse buggies and the first model t just rolled into town. 我们有游览马车 但福特T型车却又大张旗鼓地出现了
[10:02] – We’re dinosaurs. – We don’t need two metaphors. – 我们是恐龙了 – 不需要两个暗喻
[10:04] That’s bad writing. Not that it matters. 那样的写作手法不好 倒不是说很重要
[10:06] Mr. Sorkin,mr. Lachey will see you now. Sorkin先生 Lachey先生可以见你了
[10:10] Mr. Lachey,huge fan. Huge fan. I have all your albums. Lachey先生 我可是粉丝啊 您的专辑我可都听过了
[10:18] You’ll be proud of me,miss lemon. 你会为我自豪的 Lemon小姐
[10:20] It is not easy coming up with ideas to save the show. 要想出主意来拯救这个节目 可不是件容易的事
[10:23] But this morning,I held up this sign in the today show window. 但今天 我把这个牌子举到了”今日秀”的现场
[10:26] DO YOU **** 你有主意吗?
[10:28] Now,I’m just waitin’ for the phone to ring. 现在 我只需要等电话响就行了
[10:30] Kenneth,you may not be able to save the show. Kenneth 你可能拯救不了这个节目了
[10:33] If you wanna save this dumb show,you gotta get the fans involved. 你要是想救这个节目 你就要有粉丝的支持
[10:37] You know,like sometimes people mail stuff to networks to show how passionate they are. 这么说吧 有时粉丝为凸显热情 会寄东西到广播公司来
[10:41] They sent light bulbs to save friday night lights, 拯救”胜利之光” 来几个灯泡
[10:44] hot sauce to save roswell, 想留住”E星恋” 来点辣辣酱
[10:45] and douche bags to save entourage. 要挺”明星伙伴” 来它几个废物
[10:48] Okay.So we just need to think of something 也就是说 我们得琢磨出点儿
[10:52] that fans can send to hank hooper that says tgs. 粉丝寄来能让老板保留TGS的东东
[10:55] Something like… 比如
[10:59] Bird internet! 小鸟网络!
[11:04] It’s about time,cashmere. Did you find chana’s boppy? was it at… 来得正好 Cashmere 找到Chana的小枕头了吗? 是不是在
[11:08] Music adventures? 音乐大冒险?
[11:11] Banks… What’s become of you? Banks… 你都沦落到神马地步了啊?
[11:13] Nothing! 木事!
[11:17] These aren’t babies. They’re organ farms. 这些不是宝宝 我只是在大规模培育人体器官
[11:20] Don’t… Look at me! 不要… 盯着人家看!
[11:23] Devin… Explain the gaybies. Devin… 你一个同志 养这么多娃 解释一下
[11:26] I’m a househusband now. Happy? 哥现在成了家庭主夫 你满意了?
[11:28] I married a shiny black dancer named cashmere, 我华丽丽地嫁了个黑人舞蹈家 Cashmere
[11:30] and we mixed our sperm together so no one would know whose baby is whose. 我们把两人的精子混在一起 这样就分不出孩子是具体哪个人的了
[11:36] Now… Have you had your fun looking at the freak? 瞧够了 乐够了?
[11:38] I’m here to offer an olive branch. 今天我来是给你送福音的
[11:41] I’m working with kabletown now,and we’ve acquired a network called twinks. 现在我在Kabletown干活儿 刚收购了一家叫Twinks的公司
[11:44] I could use someone on it full-time,a subordinate. 我想雇个能做全职的来替我干活
[11:50] You came all the way out here to brooklyn 你大老远跑来Brooklyn
[11:53] to offer me,banks,a job? 就为了给我一份工作?
[11:57] You must be desperate,jack. 看来你是真没辙了Jack
[11:59] Twinks must be exploding,and not in a good way. Twinks估计现在是岌岌可危
[12:02] You thought that I would lick your boots,but you need me. 你以为我会对你感恩戴德 其实你只是利用我罢了
[12:05] So now I’m gonna make you let me lick your boots. 不过我现在给你这个机会
[12:08] – I’ll keep you on a very tight leash. – Fantastic. Continue. – 我会让你忙得脚不沾地 – 好得很 继续
[12:11] I will not gay set you up again,so I’ll be very clear. 我不会再拿你是同志的事说事儿 所以我把丑话说在前头
[12:13] You’ll be under me,and if there’s one slip-up,your ass is mine. 哥在上 你在下 赶出半点闪失 小心你的屁屁
[12:18] You couldn’t resist coming to see how far I’d fallen. 就知道你忍不住要来看我的惨状
[12:21] But that was your mistake. 不过你打错算盘了
[12:22] Down came the rain and washed the spider out. 暴风雨来得猛烈 正好洗光虫虫
[12:25] No. You are the spider. I am the sun. I dry up all the rain. 你才是虫虫 哥是太阳 雨后天晴全得看哥的
[12:28] Yes! Freeing me,the spider,to climb up the spout again! 没错 晴得差不多了 我才能卷土重来!
[12:31] You bastard. 你个混蛋
[12:35] Now… Who wants some num-nums? 看看现在是谁有求于我
[12:42] ****** Simon 神马情况
[12:45] Any word from the sing-off? “欢乐颂”那边有消息了吗?
[12:47] it’s a pass. But lachey hated you. 过了 不过Lachey八喜欢你
[12:51] – So what now? – You’re fired. – 现在怎么办? – 你被炒了
[12:53] – What? – You’re fired. – 啥? – 你被炒了
[12:55] Are you dropping me as a client? 你不要我这个客户了?
[12:58] What am I gonna do? Jack can’t help me. You don’t want me as a client. I have no other skills. 那让我怎么办? Jack指望不上 你也不要我 其它我什么也不会
[13:03] Liz,I’m gonna tell you what I tell my dog clients when I drop them… Liz 我把那些对失业狗说的话 再跟你说一遍
[13:07] Chuh,chuh! Chuh,chuh,chuh! 戗 戗 戗!(狗话)
[13:09] – Simon – Chuh! Chuh,chuh. – (更多狗话)
[13:18] Jack. We’ve been waiting almost an hour for this banks fellow. Jack 我们等这个Bank都快一个小时了
[13:22] The only explanation I can think of is that he keeps stopping to perform good deeds. 我只能想到一个解释 这家伙一到节骨眼上就闪人
[13:26] No,he’s pulling a power play,right out of the gate. 不 他这是在耍手腕 从一见面开始
[13:28] He’s making us wait so it looks like I have no authority over him. 他让我们等着以便给你造成 我管不了他的印象
[13:31] Well,I’m a straight shooter,jack. 我是个心直口快的人 Jack
[13:33] Except at the urinal,but that’s just a little shrapnel side effect from vietnam. 就是小便时不快 不过那只是越南战役时 被流弹击中的后遗症而已
[13:37] So when it comes to business… I don’t like these kinds of games. 谈生意的时候 我不喜欢你们的这种游戏
[13:42] Boy,I hope my tone is conveying how annoyed I am. 希望我的语气能告诉你 我现在有多生气
[13:45] You should be annoyed,hank,of course. 你当然有理由生气 Hank
[13:47] Devin’s crude attempts at manipulation don’t work with a man like you. Devin这种操纵的小伎俩 对你这样的人来说是不起作用的
[13:51] Banks is not a straight shooter like you and me. Banks不像你我那样心直口快
[13:53] For now… We need him. 我们只是暂时需要他而已
[13:55] – But as soon as he stops being useful – We throw him in a ditch. – 一旦他没用了 – 我们就把他一脚踢出去
[13:58] My apologies,gentlemen. 不好意思 先生们
[14:00] I tried to call,but somebody spilled milky all over daddy’s phoney. 我本来想打电话的 可是有人 把奶奶洒在爸爸的电话上了
[14:04] – Didn’t you,little mykonos? – you brought a baby to a business meeting. – 是你吧 小坏蛋? – 你居然带孩子来参加商务会议
[14:08] I’m so sorry,but this little guy’s really sick. 实在对不起 可是他病得很厉害
[14:11] He threw up all over my jacket,and I just couldn’t leave him,but… 他吐了我一身 我现在没法丢下他
[14:14] Of course,I didn’t want to miss this fabulous opportunity. 可是我也不想错过这个好机会
[14:17] I’m always just trying to balance work and family. 我总是力图在工作和家庭之间寻找平衡
[14:19] It’s kinda what I’m all about. 我就是这样的人
[14:21] Well,son,you’re gonna do great here at kabletown. 你在Kabletown肯定会表现很好的
[14:25] You know,one of my grandchildren is just about the same age as mike here. 我的孙子应该和Mike差不多大
[14:28] – We should set up a playdate. – How’s tomorrow? – 我们应该定个时间 让他们一起玩 – 明天怎么样?
[14:30] Uh,hank,could devin and I just have a moment,please? Hank 能让我和Devin单独谈一下吗
[14:33] Of course!I’ll just entertain this little bundle of joy 当然可以 我就给这个小家伙 讲讲Hank叔叔的故事
[14:37] with one of my uncle hank stories. 逗他开心
[14:40] The vc was everywhere. Yes,they were. Yes,they were! 到处都是越南士兵 到处都是 到处都是
[14:44] This is a new low… Even for you,banks. 我没想到你会贱到这种地步 Banks
[14:47] – Using your own baby to get in with hooper. – I brought the sexiest one,too. – 利用自己的孩子来讨好Hooper – 我带了最可爱的那个孩子
[14:51] His cheekbones are like granite. 他的小脸蛋可结实了
[14:53] And old hank the family man fell right into my trap. 家庭至上的老Hank就这样落入了我的圈套
[14:56] This isn’t even baby vomit on my jacket. 这些都不是孩子吐的
[14:59] It’s mine! All mine. 是我吐的 都是我吐的
[15:01] This… Is not over. 咱俩没完
[15:03] Oh,look how much he just loves his uncle hank! 看他多喜欢Hank叔叔啊
[15:07] Whoosh went the flamethrower. 火焰喷射器呼呼作响
[15:09] “medic! Medic! ” cried the wittle boy! 新兵哭喊着 “军医! 军医!”
[15:16] How was substitute teaching,sir? 代课老师当的怎么样
[15:18] oh,just like lean on me… 就像”铁腕校长”里演的那样
[15:20] In that a guy who looks like morgan freeman swung a bat at me. 有个长得像Morgan Freeman的人 打了我一棍子
[15:22] What are you doing with those sugar cubes? 你弄那些方糖干什么?
[15:24] Starting a fan mailing campaign to save the show! 开展粉丝寄信拯救节目活动
[15:27] People will send sugar cubes to hank hooper 人们把方糖寄给Hank Hooper
[15:29] to show that they’re sweet on tgs. 表示他们喜欢TGS节目
[15:33] I’ve already sent about 100 of these,even though licking an envelope is a sin. 虽然舔信封是很大的罪过 可是我已经寄了100封了
[15:37] Unless you’re married to it. 除非你和信封结婚 那就不是罪过了
[15:38] So I had to marry each envelope,and then divorce it. 所以我不得不和每个信封结婚 然后再离婚
[15:41] Which brings me to my ninth point- 也就让我想到了第9点
[15:43] So you’re putting a sugar cube in an envelope and then mailing it to hank hooper. 也就是说你把方糖放进信封里 然后寄给Hank Hooper
[15:47] But then when he opens it,it will have been crushed into a fine,white powder. 可是等他打开的时候 方糖就会被碾碎 变成一堆白色的粉末
[15:52] – I suppose so,sir. – Kenneth,do you know what anthrax looks like? – 应该是吧 – Kenneth 你知道炭疽是什么样的吗?
[15:57] I’m not with him! God bless america! 我跟他不是一伙儿的! 上帝保佑美利坚!
[16:00] My thorax! 我的胸!
[16:03] We never could have found him so quickly without your help. 没有你的帮助 我们无法这么快就找到他
[16:06] Thank you,mentaalist. 谢谢你 通灵警探
[16:08] It is a gift… And a curse. 这是我的天赋… 也是我的宿命
[16:11] In the tv show,you bang me in a tulip field under credits. 在电视中 你为了奖赏我 会把我推倒在郁金香花海里
[16:23] written *** 无人编剧
[16:24] Mommy. 妈妈
[16:25] – What’s that? – It’s a toilet. Or woman. – 那是什么? – 这是厕所 也可以当女人使
[16:29] It’s whatever you need it to be. 你想让它是什么 就是什么
[16:30] No! People of the sidewalk… 不! 人行道上的人们…
[16:34] We can’t give up on the written word! We need stories! 我们不能抛弃书面文字! 我们需要故事!
[16:38] Because I don’t have a plan “b”. 因为我没有备选方案
[16:41] I have a degree in theater tech with a minor in movement. 我有一个剧场科技的学位 还辅修运动
[16:44] Why did my parents let me do that? 我父母为什么要让我这么做?
[16:45] – It’s over. – Who’s there? – 都结束了 – 谁在说话?
[16:49] – Show yourselves. – You’re one of us now. – 快快现身 – 你是我们的一员了
[16:54] – Who are you? – Better to ask who we used to be. – 你们是谁? – 最好问问我们曾经是谁
[16:57] People whose professions are no longer a thing. 我们是过往从事职业都已经消失了的人
[16:59] – Once… I was called travel agent. – I was an american auto worker. – 曾经… 我被叫做旅行代理人 – 我曾是个美国汽车工人
[17:03] And I played dynamite saxophone solos in rock and roll songs. 我在摇滚歌曲中演奏拉风的萨克斯独奏
[17:06] Come. We live under the subways with the ceo of friendster. 来吧 我们和FriendSter的CEO 一起住在地铁里 (全球首家社交网络网站)
[17:11] No! Tgs isn’t dead yet! 不! TGS还没有完蛋!
[17:17] morning,jack. 早上好 Jack
[17:19] Oh,my. Empty coffee pot. 哦 天啊 空的咖啡壶
[17:21] Same cheap $300 tie as yesterday. Nose hair all askew? 和昨天一样的廉价领带 三百刀大洋哦 连鼻毛都是歪的?
[17:25] You’ve been here all night trying to figure out how to fight back,haven’t you? 你昨晚一直在这里 冥思苦想该怎么对我还击 对吗?
[17:28] How was your playdate with the hoopers? 你和Hoopers的娃娃约会怎么样了?
[17:30] Oh,it was amazing. He has really superlative tummy-time. 哦 特别棒 孩子在他肚子上玩 他特别开心
[17:33] I almost forgot. Hank-uncle hankWants to expand overseas, 我差点忘了 Hank 哦是Hank叔叔 想要扩张欧洲市场
[17:37] and he’s chosen me to be the face of the company in europe. 他选择我作为公司在欧洲的代表
[17:40] – That’s right. I’ve been promoted. – But europe is my purview. – 对 我升职了 – 但欧洲是我的地盘
[17:44] I was supposed to go there next week. I was going to take a picture where it looked like 我本来下个星期要去的 我还要去比萨斜塔照相
[17:47] I was holding up the leaning tower of pisa! 看上去像我扶着那快倒的塔!
[17:48] Now I’ll be taking that picture. 现在该是我来照这张照片了
[17:50] Do you have idea how strong I’ll look? 你觉得我看上去会有多强势?
[17:53] I vanquished you in one day! 我只用了一天就打败你了!
[17:56] I was trapped in a world of wet wipes and rectal thermometers. 我曾经被困在湿尿布 和直肠温度计的世界中
[18:00] Then the babies came,and life changed. 孩子来了 生活变了
[18:02] But you set me free,jack. 但是你解放了我 Jack
[18:04] Now it’s weekends in new york,then jet-setting around the world in economy plus. 现在是纽约的周末 然后我就要坐豪华经济舱当空中飞人
[18:09] I’ll be thousands of miles away from the chaos in brooklyn. 我将把布鲁克林的混乱世界 抛到九霄云外
[18:12] Do you know what it’s like to have triplets? It’s just everything times three. 你知道有三胞胎的感受吗? 就像一切都乘以三
[18:15] Three pairs of grabby little hands smearing food all over your brand-new chihuahua outfits. 三双到处抓的小手 在你全新的吉娃娃造型上留下手印
[18:19] Three pairs of feet in their weird,soft little shoes. 三双穿着奇怪柔软小鞋子的小脚丫
[18:22] Three paris of eyes,brown… 三双棕色的眼睛…
[18:25] Like my husband’s. 跟我丈夫的一样
[18:28] Three perfect little mouths… 三张完美的小嘴…
[18:30] That smile every time I walk through the door. 每次我透过门看他们的时候 都会甜美地笑
[18:34] Three tummies… 三个小肚皮…
[18:36] That just want their num-nums and zerberts. 发出呼唤小零食的咕噜声
[18:39] Oh,god,I just love my gaybies too much. I can’t leave! 噢 天啊 我太爱我的gay宝宝们了 我没法离开他们!
[18:45] That’s it? You’re just going to talk yourself out of it? 就这么了结了? 你就这么自己劝自己放弃了?
[18:48] – I’m sorry,jack. – But I had stuff planned. – 我很抱歉 Jack – 但我都计划好了
[18:51] I was going to trading places you. 我还准备让你重演 “Trading Places”的剧情勒
[18:53] I was bailed out of prison and told to come up here. 有人把我从监狱保释出来 叫我来这
[18:56] – That was weak,banks. – I don’t expect you to understand. – 你太逊了 Banks – 我不指望你能明白
[18:59] You don’t know what it’s like to have kids. 你不知道有孩子之后是什么感觉
[19:02] Actually,devin,I do. I have a baby daughter,liddy. 事实上 Devin 我知道 我有个女儿 Liddy
[19:05] And yet you still managed to be here all night trying to figure out how to bring me down. 而你还能在这待一晚上 思考打垮我的方法?
[19:10] Well,damn,jack… You are strong. 靠 Jack… 你太强了
[19:13] – You’re like dora’s friend… – benny the bull. – 你就像Dora的朋友… (指动画片”Dora the Explorer”) – 小牛Benny
[19:18] Thank you. 谢谢
[19:22] Jonathan,call my car. Jonathan叫车
[19:37] Okay. Here’s an idea. We ketgs going as a magazine. 好吧 我有主意了 我们把TGS办成杂志
[19:41] Miss lemon,it’s over. I applied to transfer to news. Lemon小姐 一切都结束了 我已经申请调到新闻部了
[19:45] I’m sorry. I couldn’t save the show. 我很抱歉 没能保住节目
[19:48] Here. I’m actually not that hungry. 拿着 我其实没有很饿
[19:52] That’s funny. This is the same place mr. Jordan gets pizza from in africa. 真有意思 Jordan在非洲也是订的这个披萨
[19:56] I’m sorry,what? 你说什么?
[19:57] Oh,when Mr. Jordan and I talk on the computer,sometimes he’s eating this exact same pizza. 我和Jordan先生视频的时候 他有时也在吃这个Pizza
[20:02] Africa’s great. We got juju monsters… 非洲太棒了 这里有符咒怪兽…
[20:06] Gum-gum trees… And horsicorns… 橡胶橡胶树… 还有马角兽…
[20:09] Which is a unicorn with a horse’s head. 就是一个张着马头的独角兽
[20:11] Kenneth,you beautiful goon! He’s not in africa. Kenneth 你个卖萌呆瓜! 他不在非洲!
[20:15] He’s somewhere in the delivery zone of federici’s pizza! 他在Federici披萨店外卖区的某个地方
[20:18] We can find him and bring him back here,and no more forced hiatus! 我们可以找到他 把他带回来 就不用再”因故停播”了!
[20:22] I did it! I saved the show! I won’t have to go work at news! 我成功了! 我保住了节目! 我不用去新闻部上班了!
[20:26] And I won’t have to be the world’s worst hooker! 而我也不用当全球最差妓女了!
[20:28] You wanna party? It’s 500 for kissing,10,000 for snuggling. 来点乐子不? 500块接吻 1万块抱在床上
[20:32] End of list. 没有其他项目了
[20:35] no! Ihungry again! 别吃! 我又”饿”起来了!
[20:46] have **** 你在非洲交到朋友没?
[20:47] sure*** 噢 当然咯! Ladysmith Black Mambazo(南非乐队) Paul Smith(美国歌手)还有美食
[20:52] so **** 那 天气怎么样啊?
[20:54] crazy **** 太吓了 纽约…不 非洲 有史以来雪最大的冬天了
[20:59] – well *** – it’s **** – 先生 我早上过得很有趣… – 噢 到晚上了
[21:03] gotta *** 该睡觉了 不然神要生气的
[21:06] they *** 他们肯定疯了 非洲!
[21:10] I *** 我本该早就发现他在纽约的
[21:14] bird *** 小鸟因特网
[21:19] 30 Rock S05E18
我为喜剧狂

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