| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:02] | No, Tom Jones! No! | 不嘛 Tom Jones 不! |
| [00:05] | – Lemon, it’s Jack. – Who Jackie? | – Lemon 我是Jack – 谁 Jackie? |
| [00:07] | Oh, Lemon. Avery and I just got back from the most amazing vacation | 哦 Lemon 我和Avery在 |
| [00:10] | on Paul Allen’s yacht. | Paul Allen(美国知名富豪)的游艇上 度过了一个最完美的假期 |
| [00:13] | And for four glorious weeks, | 整整四个美妙的星期啊 |
| [00:15] | my naturally blonde lady love and I basked in the 3 S’s… | 我和我那个金发尤物一起沐浴在三”S”之下 |
| [00:19] | surf, sun, and… | – 冲浪 阳光 和… – 三明治? (均为s开头的词) |
| [00:20] | – Sandwiches? – We didn’t need sandwiches, Lemon. | 切 我们才不要三明治呢 Lemon |
| [00:24] | It was so warm, | 天气热的啊 |
| [00:24] | you could pick fully-cooked lobsters out of the water. | 可以直接从水里 抓出煮熟的龙虾 |
| [00:27] | Sheer bliss. | 真开心 |
| [00:28] | Avery is the most perfect woman ever created… | Avery是上帝创造出来的最完美的女人 |
| [00:32] | like a young Bo Derek stuffed with a Barry Goldwater. | 就像Barry Goldwater(政治家) 披着Bo Derek(美貌女星)的皮一样 |
| [00:36] | You sound weird. Do you have a beard? | 你听上去很奇怪 留胡子了? |
| [00:38] | Not for long. | 没留多久 |
| [00:39] | It’s back to reality. | 要回归现实了 |
| [00:41] | No more making love on the beach | 再也没有沙滩上的美妙性爱了 |
| [00:42] | surrounded by a privacy circle of English-trained butlers | 当时有英式男管家给我们围个圈挡着 |
| [00:45] | But I’ve got to get out of island mode and back into work mode. | 但我要把度假岛模式调回到工作模式了 |
| [00:49] | How was your summer? | – 你这个夏天过得怎么样啊? |
| [00:50] | Get this… My gynecologist committed suicide. | – 听好了 – |
| [00:53] | And I’m back. | 我的妇科医生自杀了 – 我回来了! |
| [00:58] | Carol! | – 嘿 Lizzie 我马上要起飞了 |
| [00:59] | Hey, Lizzie. I’m about to take off. | – 嘿 Lizzie 我马上要起飞了 |
| [01:01] | I’m in Lambert, Saint Louis, and I can see the arch from here. | 我在圣路易斯的Lambert机场 这里现在能看到著名的萨尔南拱门哦 |
| [01:04] | No, wait. Actually, that’s a half burned-down McDonalds. | 哦 等一下 那实际上是一家烧了一半的麦当劳 |
| [01:07] | Oh. | 反正 天气不错 我接来下的飞行路线是 |
| [01:07] | Now, anyway, the weather’s great, | 反正 |
| [01:09] | and I just have to go Saint Louis – Newark, | 天气不错 我接来下的飞行路线是 |
| [01:11] | Newark – Atlantic City, Atlantic City to Newark, | 圣路易斯到诺瓦克 诺瓦克到大西洋城 |
| [01:14] | and then I’ll be there. | 大西洋城到诺瓦克 我要在那待着 |
| [01:15] | Who flies Newark to Atlantic City? | 谁从诺瓦克飞到大西洋城? (航程奇短) |
| [01:17] | Black bachelorette parties. Gotta go. | 黑人单身派对啊 要走了 |
| [01:24] | Hello? | – 喂? – |
| [01:25] | Yo. I’m calling to say that I’m giving you 110% this year. | 呦 我打电话是想说 今年我要百分之一百十的投入 |
| [01:29] | I’m relaxed, I’m focused, | 我休息够了 注意力蛮集中的 |
| [01:31] | and I’m gonna be churning out the good stuff like you’ve never seen. | 我要炮制出一堆好东西 – 肯定是你闻所未闻的 |
| [01:34] | That’s great, Tracy. | – 太好了 Tracy |
| [01:36] | Oh, I misdialed. I thought I was calling my nutritionist. | 哦 我拨错了 我以为打给我的营养师了 |
| [01:39] | Good-bye. | 拜拜 |
| [01:41] | Okay. Season 5, here we go. | |
| [02:09] | on the back of my kid’s art. | |
| [02:11] | In order for this merger to stay attractive | 为了让kabletown的伙计们 |
| [02:14] | to our friends at KableTown, | 对这次合并保持一如既往的热情 |
| [02:15] | we have to seem like a sexy, profitable company, | 我们公司得看上去惹火又能赚钱 |
| [02:18] | and we’re almost pulling it off. | 我们快达到目的了 |
| [02:20] | The Harry Potter theme park is a huge hit | 哈利波特主题公园是个大热门 |
| [02:22] | with both Anglophiles and pedophiles. | 同时满足了亲英派和恋童癖们 |
| [02:24] | The movie division has a James Cameron movie | 电影部门手上有一部卡梅隆的电影 |
| [02:26] | the whole world will see whether they like it or not. | 全世界人都会看到的 不管他们喜欢不喜欢 |
| [02:29] | Only NBC continues to be the engorged whitehead | 只有NBC仍打着全球媒体的幌子 |
| [02:32] | on the otherwise flawless face of Universal Media. | 在那里慢慢溃烂毁灭 |
| [02:35] | Lemon, why are you spending so much money on wigs? | Lemon 你为啥在假发上花这么多钱? |
| [02:38] | Tracy’s head size keeps changing. | Tracy头的尺寸一直在变 |
| [02:40] | Hang on. What is this pay increase for Jenna? | 还有 |
| [02:44] | Oh, boy. Look, as we enter the 5th season of TGS… | Jenna的薪水怎么涨了? |
| [02:48] | And remember, no one ever thought we’d make it this far… | 以前 没人想到我们能撑这么久 |
| [02:50] | – I believed in us. – And that was actually an oversight. | – 我可是很有信心的 – 那真是失策 |
| [02:52] | Jenna has some crazy stuff built into her contract that kicks in now. | Jenna的合同里有些胡闹的条款 现在要开始生效了 |
| [02:56] | Like what? | – 比如说? |
| [02:57] | Eye contact. | – 眼神交流 |
| [02:59] | Everyone must make eye contact | “所有人必须与Maroney小姐 |
| [03:00] | with Miss Maroney at all times. | 时刻保持眼神交流” |
| [03:03] | – She also gets a producer credit. – What? | – 她同时也得到了制片人的头衔 – 什么? |
| [03:05] | Oh, it’s just a vanity credit, Lemon. | 只是个名誉上的头衔而已 Lemon |
| [03:06] | A low-cost way to make someone feel more important. | 不用花很多钱 又能让她自我感觉良好 |
| [03:09] | Like executive producer Ashton Kutcher | 就像执行制片人艾什顿库奇 |
| [03:11] | or Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. | 还有国务卿希拉里克林顿 |
| [03:14] | Am I late for the producer’s meeting? | 制片会议 我来晚了吗? |
| [03:18] | Eye contact. | 注意眼神交流 |
| [03:21] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [03:23] | Hey, K-K-K-K! | 嗨 K-K-K-K |
| [03:25] | First day back’s gonna be a busy one. | 第一天回来上班 有好多活等着你呢 |
| [03:27] | First, I need you to go to the drycleaners for me | 首先 我要你去干洗店 |
| [03:30] | and find out how Martinizing works. | 帮我看看洗衣店的工作模式 |
| [03:32] | I’ve always been curious. | 我一直很好奇 |
| [03:33] | Then I need you to be back by noon | 其次 我要你中午之前回来 |
| [03:35] | to make the bathroom smell like sandalwood before I wreck it. | 在浴室点上檀香 等着我过来折腾 |
| [03:38] | You got that, K-packs of gum? | 明白了吗 小KK? |
| [03:40] | I’m not Kenneth, sir. | 先生 我不是Kenneth |
| [03:43] | My name’s Brian. Kenneth got fired at the end of last season. | 我叫Brian Kenneth上季就被解雇了 |
| [03:48] | Of course. I knew that. | 没错 我应该知道 |
| [03:53] | Good meeting. | 会议很成功 |
| [03:55] | So, how are things with Carol? | – 你和Carol怎么样了? – 很好 |
| [03:57] | Good. | 你知道吗? 如果你是个飞行员 去Chili餐厅吃饭 |
| [03:58] | Did you know that if you’re a pilot, | 你知道吗? |
| [03:59] | that Chili’s will seat you right away | 如果你是个飞行员 去Chili餐厅吃饭 |
| [04:01] | even if the pilot’s dinner companion has just been yelling at the hostess? | 即使你的女伴刚刚骂过服务生 她也会马上帮你带位 |
| [04:05] | You are the Jackie O of our time. | 你可真是当代版本的Jackie O |
| [04:07] | And pilots get all these travel points at Starwind hotels. | 飞行员在Starwind酒店住宿 还可以获得旅行积分 |
| [04:11] | The one in midtown has free internet. | 市中心的那家 还可以免费上网 |
| [04:13] | He doesn’t stay with you when he’s here? | 他回来的时候 没跟你在一起? |
| [04:14] | Why would he? Those Starwinds are nice. | 为什么要跟我在一起? 酒店多好啊! |
| [04:17] | I mean, the bathtubs are so much cleaner than at home. | 我是说 那里的浴缸比我家的干净多了 |
| [04:20] | I don’t know how they do it. | – 不知道他们怎么弄的 |
| [04:21] | They clean them. | – 人家知道打扫卫生 |
| [04:23] | You are not in a real relationship, Lemon. | 这样并不是真正意义上的情侣关系 Lemon |
| [04:27] | I hate that word, “relationship”. It’s almost as bad as “climax”. | 呃 我讨厌”情侣关系”这个词 听上去和”高潮”一样糟糕 |
| [04:31] | You can’t just do the vacation part. | 日子不能总是过得像在度假 |
| [04:32] | At some point you have to go home | 从某种意义上说 |
| [04:34] | to the same house, | 你们得回同一个家 |
| [04:35] | unpack your dirty laundry, and have a life together. | 洗衣做饭 一起生活 |
| [04:38] | Then one of you says, “We should redecorate,” | 然后某人会说”我们应该重新装修一下” |
| [04:40] | and the other one says, | 而另一个人就会说 “拜托 |
| [04:41] | “Please, Avery, I’m using the commode right now.” | Avery 我正上厕所呢” |
| [04:44] | Oh, she wants to redecorate? She just moved in. | 噢 她想重新装修? 她才刚搬进去啊 |
| [04:46] | Avery has opinions. I love her for that. | Avery比较有想法 我喜欢她这一点 |
| [04:49] | Unfortunately, she wants to repaint the upstairs hallway | 可惜 她想用一种叫”壳皮”的条纹人造漆 |
| [04:51] | in a strie faux finish called Husk. | 来粉刷二楼的走廊 |
| [04:54] | I prefer the color that’s already there… | 而我则更喜欢原来的颜色 |
| [04:56] | A reddish brown shade called Elk Tongue. | 一种叫”鹿舌”的红棕色 |
| [04:59] | So tell her no. It’s your house. | 那就跟她说不行呗 那可是你家 |
| [05:00] | This is how I know you’ve never had an adult relationship. | 所以说我能识破你从没和别人有过真正的恋爱关系 |
| [05:03] | If I say no, | 如果我现在对她说不 |
| [05:05] | then I will be required to say yes to something else in the future, | 将来就要被迫同意她的某项建议 |
| [05:08] | and the stakes in the future might be higher. | 将来的风险可能更大 |
| [05:10] | Then say yes. | – 那你就同意她呗 |
| [05:11] | If I give in, then I’m no longer the Alpha in my house. | – 如果我向她让步 那我从此就不是一家之主了 |
| [05:13] | Before you know it, she’ll have me wearing jeans and reading fiction. | 很快 她就会让我穿着牛仔裤看小说了! |
| [05:16] | Yeah, well, yes and no are kind of your only two choices. | 话是没错 可是你也只有选从还是不从啊 |
| [05:19] | For most men, sure. But there is a third option… | 对大部分人来说是这样 但我还有第三种选择 |
| [05:23] | The Fabian strategy. | – 费边战术 |
| [05:24] | I know this. If an apple and a feather fall at the same time… | – 这个我知道 – |
| [05:27] | The Fabian strategy derives its name | 一个苹果和一根羽毛同时坠落 – 费边战术得名自 |
| [05:29] | from the Roman general Quintus Fabius Maximus. | 古罗马将军Quintus Fabius Maximus |
| [05:33] | He ran away, Lemon. | 他喜欢游击战 Lemon |
| [05:34] | Rather than engage in battle, he would retreat and retreat | 就是敌进我退 敌驻我扰 |
| [05:36] | until the enemy grew fatigued and eventually made a mistake. | 敌疲我打 敌退我追 |
| [05:39] | Although I abhor it as a military strategy, | 尽管我很不喜欢这种军事战术 |
| [05:41] | it is the basis for all of my personal relationships. | 但它是我处理人际关系的根本原则 |
| [05:45] | So Avery is your enemy. That sounds healthy. | 这么说 Avery是你的敌人咯 你这么想还真正常 |
| [05:48] | You’re in no position to judge. | 你没资格说我 |
| [05:50] | Meeting someone in a hotel room twice a month is not a relationship, | 每月两次 和人在宾馆约会 |
| [05:53] | just ask any hooker. | 可不是正常的恋爱关系 去问问妓女会怎么想就知道了 |
| [05:55] | Stop staying “relationship”. | – 噢 别再说”关系”了! |
| [05:57] | I’m sorry. I was going to say “climax”. | – 不好意思 我本来要说”高潮”的 |
| [06:01] | A line item budget! | 分项预算 |
| [06:04] | I love this! | 我喜欢 |
| [06:05] | It takes people and turns them into amounts of money. | 把人换算成钱 |
| [06:09] | Except for Tracy, I’m the most person on the show. | 除了Tracy 我是这个节目里最重要的人! |
| [06:13] | What do we do now? | 接下来要做什么? |
| [06:14] | Oh, okay. Well, Jack wants me to keep the budget flat, | 好吧 Jack让我保证预算不增加 |
| [06:17] | but I don’t want to deny people their raises. | – 但是我又不想对加薪说不 – |
| [06:19] | You should fire Grace from wardrobe. She doesn’t do anything. | 你应该炒了服装间的Grace – 她整天无所事事 |
| [06:21] | Fire Grace? Come on, you’d have to be a heartless monster to… | – 炒了Grace? – |
| [06:24] | I’ll do it. | 别想了 那样你得像个没人情味的怪物 – 让我来 |
| [06:27] | Grace, your position has been terminated. Effective immediately. | Grace 你被解雇了 此决定立即生效 |
| [06:30] | But… I’ve been here since the Jack Parr Show! | 可是我从Jack Paar Show开始就一直在这里 |
| [06:34] | Your health insurance will remain in effect until the end… | 你的医疗保险也从此作废 |
| [06:36] | of this sentence. | |
| [06:37] | Come on. Chop-chop. | 快点 动起来 别磨蹭 |
| [06:44] | What a shit job. | 这工作真犀利 |
| [06:46] | Kenneth | Kenneth! I knew you’d come back! |
| [06:48] | Let me smell your head. | 我就知道你回来了! 让我闻闻你的头 |
| [06:51] | Oh, come on! | 拜托! |
| [06:51] | This is a woman’s blazer | 这可是女式上衣 |
| [06:53] | from a very expensive blazer shop called Rico’s. | 我从一个叫Rico的高档服装店里买的 |
| [06:56] | I’m sorry, but my heart is playing tricks on my eyes, | 对不起 我的小心灵总是被我的眼睛蒙骗 |
| [06:59] | just like my kidneys did to my lungs that time. | 就像上次我的肾和肺混淆一样 |
| [07:01] | Are you okay? | – 你没事吧? |
| [07:02] | I keep hallucinating Kenneth. | – 我脑中一直有Kenneth的幻觉 |
| [07:04] | Am I going crazy again? | 我又不正常了? |
| [07:06] | Should I get my rainbow wig out of storage? | 我要不要把彩虹假发拿出来? |
| [07:08] | No, Tracy, it’s normal. | 没事 Tracy 你很正常 |
| [07:09] | Kenneth was very special to you, and now he’s gone. | Kenneth和你关系不一般 现在他走了 |
| [07:13] | The next time you hallucinate, just tell yourself, | 下次再出现幻觉 就告诉自己 |
| [07:15] | “This is not real. I am in control of this.” | “这不是真的 是我自己想象出来的” |
| [07:18] | Like the World Cup. | 就像世界杯一样 |
| [07:20] | I’ll try. | 我试试 |
| [07:31] | No, this place is too full of memories! | 不行 |
| [07:34] | I gotta clear my head! | 这地方充满了回忆 我要让头脑清醒一下 |
| [07:37] | Okay, well, we’ve only been back to work like an hour. | 我们刚回来工作不到一小时 好吧 |
| [07:39] | And bye. | 走好 不送 |
| [07:43] | Liz | Liz, get in on this. |
| [07:45] | Would you rather have to start every sentence you say | 问你个问题 你是愿意下半辈子 |
| [07:47] | for the rest of your life | 说的每一句话都要加上 |
| [07:49] | with Erkel’s catchphrase, “Did I do that?” | Urkel的口头禅”是我干的吗?” |
| [07:52] | Or be Siamese twins with Sharon Stone for a year? | 还是愿意和莎朗斯通成为连体双胞胎 就一年? |
| [07:56] | Did I do that? | 当然选 |
| [07:59] | Carol! | “是我干的吗?” Carol! |
| [08:01] | So, Carol, you ever join the Mile High Club? | Carol 你在空中做过爱吗? |
| [08:04] | Try five miles high, and no, I have not. | 是高空性爱 没有 没做过 |
| [08:08] | Did you ever see a UFO up there? | 你在天上见过飞碟吗? |
| [08:10] | No, but once when I was in the Air Force, | 没有 |
| [08:11] | I saw Mr. T in a Pizza Hut. | 但以前我在空军的时候 看见过T先生在吃必胜客 |
| [08:13] | Was the Air Force like Top Gun? | – 空军是像壮志凌云那样吗? |
| [08:15] | Yeah, but with a lot more volleyball. | – 是的 但我们也经常打排球 |
| [08:16] | You ever kill anyone? | – 你杀过人吗? |
| [08:17] | Sucked a mechanic into my engine once. | – 有一次我把机械师吸进引擎里了 |
| [08:19] | Are you on Facebook? | 你上开心网吗? |
| [08:27] | And these are for you. | 这是给你的 |
| [08:29] | A passenger left them in the first-class lavatory. | 有人忘在头等舱的厕所里了 |
| [08:34] | Hey, I couldn’t get a room in any of the Starwinds this weekend. | 这周末我订不到旅馆 |
| [08:36] | You think it’d be all right if I stayed at your place? | 我能在你家过周末吗? 呃 |
| [08:39] | Uh, yeah, of course! | 当然 可以 |
| [08:41] | I’ll just have to run home first | 不过我要先回家把脏盘子从厕所里拿出来 |
| [08:43] | and take some plates out of the bathroom. | |
| [08:44] | But it would be nice staying together at your place, right? | 在你家过夜这主意应该不错吧? |
| [08:47] | Yeah! Lt’ll be a fun step for us. | 应该是…跨出很有意思的一步吧 |
| [08:50] | I just can’t believe that every Starwinds suite in the city is taken. | 真不敢相信 这城里 Starwind宾馆的 所有房间都订满了 |
| [08:53] | Me neither. Lady said they’re all booked up | 我也没想到 |
| [08:55] | for something called “Jackfest.” | 接待员说 是被一个叫Jackfest的人订的 |
| [08:59] | How many rooms did you book? | – 你到底订了多少房间? |
| [09:01] | It’s for your own good, Lemon. | – 我是为你好 Lemon |
| [09:02] | I just want you to have what Avery and I have. | – 我只是想让你拥有我和Avery那样的甜蜜爱情 |
| [09:04] | I am a grown woman! | – 我是个成年人了 |
| [09:05] | I have been doing things my way for a long time. | 我有自己的处事方式 |
| [09:07] | I don’t like my life stuff mixing with my dude stuff. | 我不想把我的生活和爷们搅合在一起 |
| [09:11] | A middle-aged woman saying “dude stuff,” | 一中年妇女说”爷们” |
| [09:13] | is that on my Sadness Scavenger Hunt? | “人生十大悲”上好像有这么一条 |
| [09:16] | Why, yes, it is. | 没错 有 |
| [09:19] | Carol and I enjoy our separate but intersecting lifestyles. | 我和Carol很享受这种分离交互式的生活 |
| [09:23] | It’s perfect. I’m like that woman on the Food Network | 这很完美 |
| [09:26] | whose husband only comes home on the weekends, | 我就像美食频道里的那个女人一样 她丈夫周末才回家 |
| [09:28] | and she spends the rest of her time | 剩下的时间就和自己的同性恋朋友们 |
| [09:29] | eating and drinking with her gay friends. | 吃吃喝喝 |
| [09:31] | Her name is the Barefoot Contessa, Lemon, | 那是赤脚天使 Lemon |
| [09:33] | and you will never be like her, starting with the barefoot part. | 你永远也成不了她 先从光脚开始吧 |
| [09:36] | I’ll have you know that I wore sandals this summer. | 我告诉你 我今年夏天可穿凉鞋了 |
| [09:39] | Over socks. In a dream. | 还有袜子…在做梦的时候 |
| [09:43] | Welcome to the Late Show with David Letterman. | 欢迎参加大卫莱特曼晚间秀 |
| [09:46] | Please have your tickets out. | 请出示入场券 |
| [09:47] | And now, as with all studio audiences, | 作为现场观众 |
| [09:49] | we will sort you according to attractiveness. | 我要依据你们的魅力来安排座位 |
| [09:52] | Front. Front. Back. Balcony. | 前排 前排 后排 |
| [09:55] | Front. Front. | 包厢 前排 前排 |
| [09:57] | Mr. Jordan! | – Jordan先生! – |
| [10:00] | No! You do not exist! I am in control of this! | 不 你不存在! 都是我想象出来的! |
| [10:07] | Wanna watch TV? | 要看电视吗? |
| [10:09] | First thing I need is tequila. | 首先你需要龙舌兰酒… 等等 |
| [10:10] | Stop, wait, no. “The Barefoot Contessa.” | 不会吧 赤脚天使 |
| [10:12] | I love this show. | – 我喜欢这节目 – |
| [10:13] | Me too! This is one of the three things in the world I like: | 我也是 世界上 我只喜欢三样东西 |
| [10:16] | Ina Garten, sweater weather… | Ina Garten 穿毛衣的季节 还有 |
| [10:18] | And when Muppets present at awards shows? | 颁奖典礼上的提线木偶? |
| [10:20] | – Wow! Yes! – Me too! | – 哇 没错! – 我也是 |
| [10:22] | We really see eye-to-eye on a lot of stuff, don’t we? | 我们真的在很多方面看法一致啊 |
| [10:24] | Absolutely. I’ve never met anyone before | 没错 我以前从没遇到过 |
| [10:26] | who had the exact same idea as me about what to do with Palestine. | 和我对巴勒斯坦看法一致的人 |
| [10:29] | – It would work, right? – Of course it would work. | – 会管用的 对吧? – 当然会 |
| [10:31] | And don’t you agree that our situation is perfect right now? | 你难道不认为我们的现状很完美吗? |
| [10:35] | We have these great visits together, | 我们每次见面总是那么美好 |
| [10:37] | but then we still have our separate lives. | 而且我们还拥有自己的生活 |
| [10:39] | We’re like Geoffrey and Ina. | 我们就像Jeffrey和Ina |
| [10:43] | No, no, I can’t… I can’t live like this anymore! | 不 不 我不能 我不能再这样下去了 |
| [10:48] | I’m not like Geoffrey Garten. | 我并不像Jeffrey Garten |
| [10:51] | I’m not as strong as that guy. | 我没那家伙那么坚强! |
| [10:53] | Don’t have too much fun without me, okay? | 我不在的时候别太开心好吗? |
| [10:55] | I need to know where this relationship is going, | 我要知道我们的关系会发展成什么样 |
| [10:58] | and I can feel you resisting it. | 而且我能感觉到你并不想走下去 |
| [11:00] | No! No! It okay! Don’t be cry! | 别 别 没事的 别哭 |
| [11:08] | I’m a… I’m a pilot, Liz. | 我可是个飞行员啊 Liz |
| [11:10] | You know, I spent my entire adult life just… | 成年之后 |
| [11:13] | casual girlfriends in different cities. | 我的生活就周旋在 不同城市的那些随意女友之间 |
| [11:16] | L-I-I-I can’t go from woman to woman to woman anymore. | 我不想再流连于各个不同女人之中了 |
| [11:20] | How many women have you been with? | 你有过多少个女朋友啊? |
| [11:22] | No, no. I-I’d rather not say. It’s shameful. | 我还是不说的好 不是什么光彩的事 |
| [11:25] | And I’m a pilot. | 我可是个飞行员啊 |
| [11:30] | Six! | 6个 |
| [11:32] | Oh, that’s not so great. | – 噢 |
| [11:35] | I want grown-up love! | 那可不妙 – 我想要像样的爱情! |
| [11:47] | – Hello? – Thanks! | 喂? 我谢谢你了 |
| [11:48] | Carol had a complete meltdown about the state of our relationship. | Carol为我们的关系现状彻底崩溃了 |
| [11:51] | I can’t believe I tried to clean my bathtub for this! | 我不敢相信我试着想过去洗浴缸 |
| [11:54] | You know, this is healthy, Lemon. Where is Carol now? | 不 这样才靠谱 Lemon Carol现在在哪儿呢? |
| [11:56] | I finally got him to sleep. | 我最后终于把他哄睡了 |
| [11:57] | I had to spoon him for like an hour, and I was the outer spoon! | 我们抱了差不多一个小时 是我抱着他 |
| [12:00] | Welcome to adulthood. | 欢迎来到成年人的世界 |
| [12:02] | As for me, I have successfully retreated for another day. | 今天我的迂回战术又奏效了 |
| [12:05] | When Avery got home from work, | 当Avery下班回来时 |
| [12:06] | I noticed that she had some paint samples in her purse, | 我发现她包里有些颜料样板 |
| [12:08] | so I immediately asked her | 于是我马上问她她妹最近有没啥傻事 |
| [12:10] | if her sister had done anything crazy lately, | |
| [12:11] | and guess what, she had. | |
| [12:13] | Avery talked about that for an hour, | 她还真有 Avery讲了差不多一个小时 |
| [12:15] | her anger eventually transforming into some rather… interesting sex, | 她的愤怒最后变成了 更像是投入 一次很有意思的嘿咻 |
| [12:19] | and now she’s sleeping peacefully | 现在她睡的很香 |
| [12:20] | while Fabius has retreated to his den | 而法比尤斯将军已经撤回到了他的窝 |
| [12:22] | where he is drinking scotch and playing Snood. | 在喝苏格兰威士忌和打泡泡龙 |
| [12:25] | Uh-huh. Does Avery’s work e-mail go right to her phone? | 哼 Avery的email是直接推送到手机上的吗? |
| [12:28] | Why? | 干嘛? |
| [12:29] | Nothing. Just sending her a link to this cool site: | 干嘛? 没啥 只是想发这个很牛的网站给她 |
| [12:31] | Funkyvintagewallpaper. Com | （恶搞的墙纸网站） |
| [12:34] | Oh, Lemon, don’t! She keeps her Blackberry in bed with her! | Lemon 别! 她床头就放着黑莓手机 |
| [12:36] | And… send. | 然后 发送 |
| [12:37] | Damn it, Lemon! It has to be Elk Tongue! | 该死 Lemon! 那墙必须是鹿舌的颜色! |
| [12:45] | This Jenna promotion is the greatest thing | Jenna做制作人实在是太棒了! |
| [12:47] | that has ever happened to me. | |
| [12:48] | Do you understand how much free time I have now? | 你知道我现在多有空吗? |
| [12:50] | Yesterday, I went to the gym. | 昨天 我去健身房了 |
| [12:52] | And this morning I made love to my wife. | 而今天早上 我跟我老婆嘿咻了 |
| [12:54] | And she was still asleep, so I didn’t have to be gentle. | 因为她还在睡 所以我不用轻轻的 |
| [13:00] | That’s one of the most upsetting things I have ever imagined. | 那是我想像过最倒胃口的事 |
| [13:03] | Are you sure? Think about it again. | 你确定? 再想想 |
| [13:08] | Yes! | 很确定 |
| [13:10] | Liz, the writers can’t take a car service at night anymore. | Liz 编剧们晚上不能再享受汽车服务了 |
| [13:13] | I’ve crunched the numbers, and it’s cheaper for us | 我算了一下 |
| [13:15] | to just replace anyone who gets murdered. | 我们只要把被谋杀的人换掉就能省下钱了 |
| [13:21] | So, did Avery like my wallpaper idea? | Avery喜欢我给她的墙纸建议吗? |
| [13:24] | She did. | 她很喜欢 |
| [13:27] | So why are you happy? | 呃 那你还高兴啥? |
| [13:28] | Because the Fabian Strategy is working. | 因为我的费边策略有用啊 |
| [13:30] | Every new pattern Avery showed me, I would simply say, | 每次Avery给我看图案 我就说 |
| [13:33] | “Yes, I like that one, too.” | “挺不错的 我也喜欢” |
| [13:35] | And she was so overwhelmed with the choices | 现在她已经选不过来了 |
| [13:37] | that she made a mistake. | 然后她犯了个错 |
| [13:38] | She suggested that we consult her old college friend | 她想咨询一下她的一个大学旧友 |
| [13:41] | who’s an interior designer. | 是个室内设计师 |
| [13:42] | Uh-huh. | |
| [13:43] | He’s coming here to meet with me today. | 他今天来跟我见面 |
| [13:45] | His name is James. | 他叫James |
| [13:46] | Not Jim. Not Jimmy. James. | 不是Jim 不是Jimmy 而是Jamessss |
| [13:49] | I get it. | 我知道了 |
| [13:50] | She’s sending her army into unknown territory. | 她正在把她的军队调往她不熟悉的区域呢 |
| [13:53] | And I am flanking her… | 而我将用这招… |
| [13:56] | with these. | 回击 |
| [13:58] | Have you seen my eyes, Lemon? | 你看到我的眼睛了吗 Lemon? |
| [14:00] | Yep, they’re very blue. Like a Mykonos sky. | 很蓝 就像米科诺斯岛的天一样蓝 |
| [14:03] | Mark Foley once called them “piercing.” | Mark foley曾说它们很有”穿透力” (有过性丑闻的前国会议员) |
| [14:05] | Avery has really made a misstep here. | Avery终于犯错了 |
| [14:08] | Do you know what a prize I am in the gay community? | 你知道在同志社会里 我有多么抢手吗? |
| [14:10] | There’s a term for it. | 有个字来形容这个的 |
| [14:11] | I’m a Bear, and I’m a Daddy. | 我是个毛毛熊 还是个老爹 (同志） |
| [14:15] | I’m a Daddy Bear. | 我是总攻 |
| [14:16] | Just one hour of flirty chatting with James, | 只要跟James聊聊同志话题 |
| [14:19] | and you know what I’ll get? | 你知道我能得手什么 |
| [14:20] | Not a Glad Award, I know that. | 不会是什么同志大奖 这我知道 |
| [14:24] | Elk Tongue. | 麋鹿舌色 |
| [14:26] | Well, I’m glad to hear that you’ve almost vanquished your girlfriend. | 我很高兴 你几乎就要打败你的女友了 |
| [14:29] | Thank you. | 谢谢你 |
| [14:30] | And you versus Carol? How’s that going? | 谢谢你 你跟Carol怎么样? |
| [14:33] | I don’t know. We had a pretty emotional breakfast. | 我不知道 今天早餐大家吃的都挺激动 |
| [14:41] | He says he’s leaving early now. I don’t know what to do. | 他说他今天会早走 |
| [14:43] | I know it’s difficult, Lemon, | 我不知道该做什么 我知道这很困难 Lemon |
| [14:45] | but now you have an adult decision to make. | 但现在你有个成人的决定要做 |
| [14:46] | Would you rather let go of your precious autonomy | 你愿意放弃你的自由 |
| [14:50] | and let Carol into your life, | 让Carol进入你的生活呢? |
| [14:52] | or would you rather teach your cat to dial 9-1-1? | 还是打算教你的猫拨打911? |
| [14:54] | First of all, I’m tired of playing “Would You Rather,” | 首先 我受够了”你是愿意”这一套 |
| [14:57] | and second of all, you know that I have Life Alert. | 其次 你知道我有个报警器的 |
| [15:03] | Oh, I pushed it. I need a phone! | 不好 我按下去了 我要打电话 |
| [15:07] | Mr. Jordan! | Jordan先生 |
| [15:09] | Mr. Jordan, please, stop! | Jordan先生 请别走 |
| [15:11] | You’re not real! | 你不是真实的 |
| [15:12] | If I threw you in front of a car it would drive right through you! | 如果我把你扔到一辆车前面 那车就会直接穿过去! |
| [15:15] | No! No! Sir! I am real! | 不! 不… 先生! 我是大活人! |
| [15:19] | Would an imaginary me know that you have a mole | 如果我是想象出来的 |
| [15:22] | on your list of pets to get? | 怎么会知道你的宠物愿望单上有鼹鼠 |
| [15:24] | Or that your favorite color is rainbow? | 还有你最喜欢的颜色是彩虹? |
| [15:27] | Of course it would! | 当然会啊 |
| [15:28] | It would know anything I knew! | 你会知道所有我知道的 |
| [15:30] | Because it sprung from my imagination. | 因为你来自于我的幻想 |
| [15:35] | Sir! It’s really me! | 先生 真的是我! |
| [15:46] | Oh, my God! | 我的天哪! |
| [15:47] | Oh, no! I missed it! Do it again! | 不 我错过了! 再来一次! |
| [15:52] | I love you, Kenwood! | 我爱你 宝贝Ken |
| [15:54] | Why don’t you come back home to TGS | 你为什么不回到TGS节目组来 |
| [15:56] | and pick the peas out of my fried rice? | 帮我把炒饭里的豌豆给挑出来呢? |
| [15:58] | And the rice. | 还有饭也挑出来 |
| [15:59] | I just want carrots. | 我只要胡萝卜 |
| [16:01] | I can’t do that, sir. | 我不能那样 先生 |
| [16:02] | Don’t you miss rubbing my foot back into the shape of a foot? | 难道你就不怀念曾经 把我的脚背揉成真正脚的形状吗? |
| [16:06] | Of course I do. | 我当然怀念 |
| [16:07] | But I’m real happy here at CBS. | 但是我现在CBS真的很开心 |
| [16:10] | They gave me a tote bag with “The Mentalist” on it! | 他们给了个我印有”超感警探”的手提袋! (不知道有没有广告费 = =) |
| [16:13] | I guess this is good-bye. | 我想大概这就是再见了吧 |
| [16:18] | Obviously, I’m going to need the tote bag. | 很显然 我需要个手提袋 |
| [16:27] | James, tell me, which one of these do you like? | James 告诉我 你喜欢哪一个? |
| [16:31] | Because with my untrained eyes, the strie is bland, and the, uh… | 按我的拙见 条纹看起来都没啥意思 |
| [16:39] | …wallpaper just looks busy. | 还有… 墙纸看起来眼花缭乱的 |
| [16:44] | I don’t know. | 哦… 我不知道 |
| [16:48] | Do you see something, uh… | 这里有让你看着喜欢的东西吗? |
| [16:50] | here that you like? | |
| [16:54] | It’s so frustrating. | 太让人沮丧了 |
| [17:08] | I think I found a way to get the budget down | 我想我找到了缩减预算的办法 |
| [17:10] | to where Jack wants it. | 能让Jack满意了 |
| [17:11] | That’s my girl! You are el fuego! | 真是好样的! 你真厉害 |
| [17:13] | I was looking it over, and I’ve realized something… | 我仔细看了看 发现了一个问题 |
| [17:17] | There’s one too many producers, Pete. | 制作人太多了 Pete |
| [17:21] | Okay, I get it. | 好 我知道了 |
| [17:22] | But please! I have five kids… that I don’t want to be at home with. | 但是请你… 我有五个孩子… 我可不想在家里和他们在一起 |
| [17:26] | No, Pete! It’s me! | 不 Pete 是我 |
| [17:29] | As great as I am at this, I’m not really necessary. | 虽然我很擅长这个 但是我不是必需的 |
| [17:34] | Hmmm… the last time I said that, | 上次我这么说 |
| [17:35] | I was in a three-way with two of the Backstreet Boys. | 还是在和两个后街男孩成员玩3P的时候 |
| [17:38] | No, Jenna, you can’t quit! I’ll take a pay cut! We can fire Liz! | 不 Jenna 你不能退出 我接受降薪 我们可以把Liz裁了! |
| [17:42] | This is hard for me, too, Pete, | 这对我来说也很不容易 Pete |
| [17:44] | but it’s because I’m a genius producer I know that you have to fire me. | 但是因为我是个天才制作人 我知道你必须解雇我 |
| [17:49] | Take my producing fee | 拿我的制作费去分期偿还 |
| [17:51] | and amortize it to cover the gaps in transpo and electric. | 交通和用电的亏空 |
| [17:58] | Hey, Liz. Would you rather… | Liz 你是愿意 |
| [18:01] | …be with the person you love forever, | – 天哪… – 一直和你爱的人在一起 |
| [18:04] | but you always have to wear a shirt made out of their pubes, | 但是你得一直穿他们阴毛制成的衬衫 |
| [18:06] | or be alone for the rest of your life, | 或者是下半生永远孤身一人 |
| [18:09] | but you get to wear whatever you want? | 但是可以想穿什么就穿什么? |
| [18:11] | Shirt of pubes. | 我选前者 |
| [18:14] | I thought you left. | 我以为你出发了 |
| [18:15] | I came back. | 我回来了 |
| [18:17] | I mean, I had to kick an obese teen off the flight to get a seat, | 我是说 我得赶走一个胖小子才能有座位 |
| [18:21] | but I really wanted to talk to you. | 但是我真的很想对你说 |
| [18:22] | Look, I’m not sorry you saw me cry. I’m an emotional guy. | 我并不后悔让你看到我哭 我很容易动感情 |
| [18:26] | That’s actually not even a part of my personality. | 这不算是我性格的一部分 |
| [18:28] | That’s just something that happens to people | 这是一个每天海拔变化超过四次的人 |
| [18:29] | who change altitude more than four times a day. | 会发生的状况而已 |
| [18:31] | Is that also why you got so mad watching the Giants game? | 那也是你为什么 看巨人队比赛那么疯狂的原因? |
| [18:34] | No. That was because why does Geico | 不 |
| [18:36] | have three different spokespeople? | 那是因为为什么 GEICO保险有三个不同的发言人? |
| [18:38] | They have the caveman, the lizard, | 一个山顶洞人 还有个蜥蜴模样的家伙 |
| [18:39] | and then the stack of money with the eyeballs. | 然后是钱堆上有两个眼珠的东西 |
| [18:41] | And the fake Rod Serling guy! | 还有那个山寨版Rod Serling (美国著名的剧作人) |
| [18:43] | Oh, my God! Right. Thank you. | 我的天哪 对啊 谢谢啊 |
| [18:45] | I mean, do you see how good we are together? | 我是说 你看我们在一起多美好? |
| [18:47] | Look, Liz, I want this, but if we’re going to go for it, | Liz 我想要这样的日子 但是如果我们要来认真的 |
| [18:51] | we gotta move forward a bit with each visit. | 我们每次见面都要有所前进 |
| [18:54] | Two minutes to air. Cast, please set yourself. | 还有两分钟开播 演职人员请做好准备 |
| [18:57] | Look, you have to get back to the airport, I have a show, | 你得回机场去 我还有节目 |
| [19:00] | and how do we move this forward in the time allotted? | 我们如何在这样的时间安排下有所前进? |
| [19:02] | All right. Let’s each say one thing about ourselves | 好吧 我们各自说一件关于自己的事情 |
| [19:05] | that the other person doesn’t know on the count of three. All right? | 但是对方还不知道 数到三 一起 好吗? |
| [19:08] | Ready? One, two, three. | 准备好了吗? |
| [19:10] | – Touched by a priest. It’s fine. – I’m on a waiting list to adopt a kid. | – 我在等待收养孩子 – 被一个牧师摸过 没关系的 |
| [19:12] | Wait. What? | 等一下 什么? |
| [19:14] | Okay. That was a step. | 好了… |
| [19:17] | Yeah. | 我们已经迈出一步了 |
| [19:19] | See you October 14! | 10月14号见吧 |
| [19:22] | Cast for “Would You Rather?” Set yourselves please. | “你是愿意”的演职人员请做好准备 |
| [19:27] | I never thought you’d make it this far, Lemon. | 我没想到你能做这么久 |
| [19:29] | Lemon I know. Season 5, we were supposed to get cancelled. | |
| [19:32] | Not just the show. I mean you. | 不只是这个节目 我是说你 |
| [19:34] | You’re in an “adult dude” situation. | 你现在是”成年人”的状态了 |
| [19:36] | You’re wearing a beautiful blazer from Rico’s Husky Boy collection. | 你穿了件漂亮的上装 还是Rico的”健壮小子”系列… |
| [19:40] | Is that what “Raggazi Robusti” means? | 难道”硬汉”就是这个意思? |
| [19:42] | I’m just saying I’m happy for you. | 我是说我真为你高兴 |
| [19:45] | Thank you, Jack. | 谢谢 Jack |
| [19:46] | And I’m glad that you’re getting to keep your wall Elk Tongue. | 我也很高兴你保住了你的墙壁 |
| [19:49] | Actually, no. | 实际上 不是的 |
| [19:50] | The fabulous James and I came up with an excellent idea. | 聪明的James和我一想出了个绝妙主意 |
| [19:52] | We’re taking that wall down. | 我们打算把墙给拆了 |
| [19:53] | That way, we can make the master bedroom closet bigger | 那样我们就可以让主卧壁橱更大 |
| [19:56] | and gain a nice architectural symmetry. | 还可以有建筑美学上的对称感 |
| [19:59] | You think maybe that’s what Avery wanted all along? | 或许那才是Avery一直想要的? |
| [20:03] | Oh, my God! | 我的天哪 |
| [20:05] | Hannibal defeated Fabian with a decoy army! | 汉尼拔用引诱战术击败了费边 |
| [20:08] | James was a plant! | James是个卧底 |
| [20:09] | The strie wall finish was a decoy! She Hanniballed my Fabian! | 装修墙壁只是虚晃一枪而已 她把我给耍了! |
| [20:13] | Lemon, Avery and I are perfect together, | Lemon Avery和我真太配了 |
| [20:16] | like whiskey and hunting. | 就像是… 威士忌和打猎密不可分 |
| [20:20] | Soul mate doesn’t even begin to do it justice. | “灵魂伴侣”这个词都不能表达充分 |
| [20:24] | She’s my… | 她是我的… |
| [20:27] | She’s your pube shirt. | 她是你的阴毛衫 |
| [20:30] | Pube shirt. | 阴毛衫 |
| [20:34] | That’s our show! Good night! | 这就是今晚的节目 晚安 |
| [20:36] | Good night, Miss Maroney. Good night, Mr. Jordan. | 晚安 Maroney小姐 晚安 Jordan先生 |
| [20:38] | Good night, TGS band | 晚安 |
| [20:40] | with your funny-smelling dressing room. | TGS乐队 还有你们充满欢笑的更衣室 |
| [20:42] | Good night, Bear. | 晚安 熊宝宝! |
| [20:44] | Good night, Moon Song Park from accounting. | 晚安 月亮… 很快既要远离财政问题了 |
| [20:47] | Good night, Miss Lemon. Good night, Mr. Donaghy. | 晚安 Lemon小姐 晚安 Donaghy先生 |
| [20:52] | I lied to Mr. Jordan. I miss you all so much. | 我真喜欢Jordan先生 我想念你们所有人 |
| [20:58] | Sir? Is it really you? | – 先生 真的是你吗 |
| [21:00] | Sure is. Wanna go kiss in the prop cage? | – 当然是我 – 想到杂物笼里去激吻一个吗 |
| [21:03] | What?! No! | – 什么 不 |